I'm not much of a creative writer, but I'm currently trying to make a creative narrative around my FIRST Elder Scrolls Oblivion playthrough.
(www.youtube.com)
from ThePiedPooper@discuss.online to gaming@beehaw.org on 07 Aug 15:14
https://discuss.online/post/24840251
from ThePiedPooper@discuss.online to gaming@beehaw.org on 07 Aug 15:14
https://discuss.online/post/24840251
This might not be the place for it, but I’d love any feedback I can get. No need to leave a like, comment, or subscription, simple feedback will be enough!
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I figured I'd give it a look, and creative stuff like this should always be encouraged!
There's a lot of things I want to critique, but I first want to lay out some ground zero statements, if that makes sense:
I'm just one person, and things I say might not hold true from one person to another. Meaning, others may disagree with my opinions, and you yourself might even disagree; that's fine.
The most important thing is to enjoy the process. If you're having fun making these, keeping that fun going is the most important thing. If a suggestion would make it less fun, it's completely okay to ignore it!
I'm having issues formulating my thoughts as I try to write this, so forgive me if it makes less sense than intended.
The future perspective is a fun idea, but it kind of conflicts with the whole premise of a blind playthrough. How are you supposed to have a future perspective on things that you, the creator of the narrative and story, aren't able to foresee? I can understand wanting to do something creative with your first playthrough, especially if you felt inspired by the worldbuilding or lore of the Elder Scrolls world.
Let's start from the top. First, who is this character's story that we're following along on? We don't know their name, who they were before they were a prisoner, or why they're in prison to begin with. A character is much more compelling when there is already a goal, something to the story beyond just the circumstances they find themselves in.
Second, there's the issue of having a personal story layered on top of a pre-existing plot. What you're writing is currently similar to fan fiction. Not really a big deal, but given that the world of Tamriel and the Elder Scrolls series is already pre-established, not to mention the plot of the game, there's going to be many that are already familiar with the story of the game.
Given that, there's the question of intent. Are you wanting to create this for others, and for it to be entertaining? As a documentary, to sort of chronologue your character's journey or playthrough? Or is it just an excuse to try writing, using imagery and other storytelling tools? To be clear, any reason, even no reason, is fine. But there's different critique for different approaches.
For example, if the intent was to entertain, I could mention that having more personality and getting us more familliar with the main character would be a good idea. If the idea was to chronologue the journey, you could have snap cuts of the most important moments filling out a journal entry (e.g., you're reading out of a journal that the MC keeps, and adding snips of gameplay footage to coincide with the journal).
If you were wanting to just try using imagery and other narrative tools, you may want to reconsider your choice of words. While imagery is a fun way to write, adds immersion, and adds details to things that otherwise would be glossed over, you are able to show literal images of what you are describing. So there's no need to describe the undead, as the viewer can see them as clearly as our main character could. If this was what you were wanting to do, you could use the other senses to add to the immersion; smell, sound, taste, etc. Describe how the undead smell, the rotting food tastes, how moist the air is, or slippery the moss on the rocks or pebbles are.
Another thing to consider ties into what I mentioned earlier; the pre-existing universe of the Elder Scrolls franchise. Oblivion takes place within Cyrodill, with so much going on. If you're wanting to write a story within the universe, you might want to read up a bit, so you don't create a narrative that falls apart when the world or game has a different plot point than what is intended.
If this is a blind playthrough, as in, it is your first time playing the game, you may want to consider changing the tone, or perspective. If the story is told in first person, there's less issues with unexpected plot changes or conflicts between preconceived ideas or other things, as the main character will find out, or have their misconceptions corrected at the same time as the viewer.
I'm happy you're enjoying the world of Tamriel. I myself grew up playing the original Oblivion, so it's nice to see others re-experiencing the original fascination I had with the world and game. That's all from me though!
Thank you so much for the advice! I decided that I’ll rewrite the script using most of the tips you gave me, specifically:
Adding more personality. Giving my character a name. Writing the script in present tense (if I understood you correctly) Adding details that the viewer can’t see as opposed to what they can see
I am writing the script to entertain people, not so much for myself. I don’t have an inane desire to write, but I do have an inane desire to entertain people. I feel as though let’s plays are too done, and I need to try something new.
Do I have any writing skill, or am I more or less wasting my time here?
First off, I wouldn't worry even a little about 'writing skill'. Skills in anything are things you develop, and you develop them by doing! So it doesn't really matter if it's a waste of time. The important thing with any creative endeavor is that you wanted to do it.
Think about it like this, lots of really popular artists and content creators didn't start off that way. They simply wanted to do something different, and got better as they kept doing it.
The reason I asked the reasoning and desire here, is that goals and intent are a big guiding force, and having different end goals changes what would be positive changes, at least in my opinion.
Since the goal here is to entertain people, there are a couple of reasons why I recommended adding a backstory to your character, and being present tense. First, the game introduces your character as kind of a blank slate; it doesn't matter what you did before, what crimes you committed, or life you led, destiny has set you on this path. In the grand scheme of things, it works, especially if a player doesn't really want to think too hard about roleplaying.
But adding extra depth to a character, like any roleplaying, adds more reasons to be invested. It allows you to flex your narrative skills, completely free of the restraints of the game engine, the game plot, and gives the audience something to be interested in besides the base game's plot.
That's part of what I was attempting to explain earlier; the remaster of Oblivion came out recently, but the original version of the game came out well in the past, in 2006 (geez I feel old!).
Part of the reason I suggested using first person in your writing style is that it gives you opportunities to voice things in more expressive ways. If you're going this route, you'll basically be doing a fan dub of the game. There's plenty out there, where you can effectively re-write the dialogue to be as silly, nonsensical, or meme worthy as possible. Of course, there's plenty opportunity to really try voice acting, and writing a narrative that fits you.
Either way, that's what I meant when using the term 'personality'. Just showing emotion, or if you really wanted to get into character, you could act out scenes as your character itself, and roleplay your playthrough that way. There's really no wrong way of doing this; you won't get much attention on your videos starting out, but that's the same for every creator out there, some close friends included.
The advice I gave for imagery can still be applied in first person too! Instead of recalling torrential rain, you could instead have the character shouting against the wind and rain. This may require some editing skills on your end, though the possibilities are absolutely there. Heck, half of this stuff is why the original Oblivion and Skyrim have such massive modding communities.
Finally, wanted to leave some suggestions. I don't know if this is your first creative thing you've done, or if you've been working on stuff all the time. Either way, the best thing you can do to get better is to keep making stuff, whether that's editing videos, script writing and creating scenes, or whatever you prefer.
If this is your first time, I wouldn't take it too serious, to take the pressure off making them. Doing a fandub like I mentioned earlier is a great way to kill time with friends and add some goofiness into a game you enjoy. Fair warning though, fan dubs are typically better when everyone already knows the game/media before hand, so they can set up funny punchlines, or do skits with a scene they know about beforehand.
That being said, if you do want to do a more serious story, that's perfectly fine too! A serious story can be really fun, and since it's a project you're doing for fun, don't be ashamed to rip character traits from some of your favorite characters!
This is digressing from the point I'm trying to make, but I'm a big fan of TableTop Roleplaying Games (TTRPGS). Think Critical Role, or other games like that. They're really fun, and are great ways to experiment with character ideas or story ideas, although your milage may vary depending on who is at your table.
But in all my experience at these games, video games, and reading, most stories are iterations of one another, just with a different personal flavor. So don't be ashamed to steal an idea you really like, just make sure to put your own spin on it, or reframe it in your own interpretation!