m/Polyamory is LIVE
from Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run to newcommunities@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 17:35
https://kbin.run/m/newcommunities@lemmy.world/t/581002

I searched this morning for communities related to polyamory and open relationships. Finding nothing, I created something. If you are interested in polyamory, open relationships, ethical non-monogamy, etc, swing on by for a chat, to post something silly, as you will.

edit: !polyamory@kbin.run

#newcommunities

threaded - newest

Blaze@sopuli.xyz on 27 Jul 2024 17:38 next collapse

Interesting topic. Any link to share?

Elevator7009@kbin.run on 27 Jul 2024 17:41 next collapse

!polyamory
/c/polyamory@kbin.run

Delighted to see another Mbin magazine for once. It is the Fediverse, and lately it's been feeling like the Lemmyverse. Hope this gets users.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 27 Jul 2024 17:42 collapse

TY! I'm still learning the syntax.

[deleted] on 27 Jul 2024 18:30 collapse

.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 27 Jul 2024 18:46 collapse

Are women things to be shared? I'm not sure you are quite getting the right idea.

[deleted] on 27 Jul 2024 18:53 collapse

.

Holyginz@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 18:59 collapse

No, you don’t understand how it works and made a dumb comment

[deleted] on 27 Jul 2024 20:24 collapse

.

kitnaht@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 20:42 next collapse

This is absolutely disgusting behavior from someone on Lemmy. How DARE you. They might have boyfriends too.

rami@ani.social on 28 Jul 2024 03:39 next collapse

“let”

as if we’re incapable of having sex without a man’s permission.

[deleted] on 28 Jul 2024 04:14 collapse

.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 14:22 collapse

Non-Binary Aliens are welcome here. ;-)

Holyginz@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 15:14 collapse

Not the brightest bulb are ya? Continuing to double down on your stupid comments

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 15:24 collapse

I have a difficult time differentiating between active trolling and a lack of knowledge/ understanding. u/Moon appears to be leaning trollward. However calling someone stupid, or dumb is ableist or elitist. People have differing levels of cognitive capacity and education. And learning occurs over time, but not by the same linear path for each of us. Ultimately what I'm trying to say is education is better than ad hominem attacks. Also, don't feed the trolls.

Holyginz@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 15:59 next collapse

Fair point

DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com on 28 Jul 2024 21:14 collapse

To be fair, he called the troll’s comments dumb and stupid - not the troll itself. Which they were.

Not sure about the troll, though. I have my suspicions. ;)

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 23:02 collapse

Point taken. I'm not modding here. The accused troll seems to have not much to say. shrug Being in a new group always sets off neural response networks, various strategies emerge. Not all are successful.

DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com on 29 Jul 2024 08:02 collapse

All good here mate. Like you, I want Lemmy to be a friendly place, but also one that values critical thinking and open mindedness. Y’know - the sort of shit we didn’t get on Reddit. ;)

[deleted] on 29 Jul 2024 13:46 next collapse

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[deleted] on 29 Jul 2024 13:46 collapse

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bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de on 27 Jul 2024 20:29 next collapse

Polyamory is WRONG! You people disgust me!

Mixing Latin and Greek words like that! Either call it multiamory or polyphilia!

The nerve of some people!

Nemo@midwest.social on 27 Jul 2024 20:42 next collapse

This is why I don’t watch television.

Blaze@sopuli.xyz on 27 Jul 2024 20:48 next collapse

I never noticed

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 14:00 next collapse

How do you feel about multiphilia? ;-)

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de on 28 Jul 2024 14:59 collapse

🤬

drathvedro@lemm.ee on 29 Jul 2024 08:33 collapse

polyphilia

Love that band. Their latest album is the shit.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 21:53 next collapse

Call me stupid but does this community be about sex? Should it not be labled NSFW?

notacat@mander.xyz on 27 Jul 2024 22:02 next collapse

polyamory is an alternative to monogamy, so if you think a community about monogamous relationships should be NSFW then I guess, but I think that might be a stretch.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 22:28 collapse

I googled it and it brought up alot of sex shit so was like wtf.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 14:17 collapse

There are many aspects to polylove, including sex, but not solely sex. There's a bit of a distinction between "swinging" which is more about the sex and less about the relationships. And polyamory which is more about the relationships less about the sex. I mean if that makes sense? But yeah, search the interwebs and there's a site for any kind of sex you can imagine, and for all the ones you never thought of, nor perhaps wished to think of. (sorry for ending in a preposition, I may need caffeine)

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de on 27 Jul 2024 22:03 collapse

Polyamory is about multiple relationships. The amory part means love. So while sex is a part of it it’s not the focus. See it as a relationship advice community.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 22:28 collapse

Well screw that I can barely balance one with work and school and everything.

bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de on 27 Jul 2024 22:32 collapse

An extra hand to help with chores would be nice.

zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev on 28 Jul 2024 00:24 collapse

On average, there would be slightly less than two extra hands per person added.

spongebue@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 07:09 collapse

The average person has approximately one boob and one testicle

Chozo@fedia.io on 27 Jul 2024 21:59 next collapse

swing on by for a chat

I see you.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 27 Jul 2024 23:37 next collapse

Correct me if I am wrong but are there not websites for this stuff? This got me curious because never been screwed by a man. And as a lesbian I think about it from time to time.

Monument@lemmy.sdf.org on 28 Jul 2024 00:50 next collapse

I mean. It’s any website that has user communities, if their users skew that way.

Polyamory isn’t some niche kink.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 00:52 collapse

Well call me old fashion but I perfer picking up women at the bar or grocery store.

Monument@lemmy.sdf.org on 28 Jul 2024 00:54 collapse

You’re old fashioned.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 00:59 collapse

Yep when people blast their rap songs at red lights…I turn mine up so they can get a feel for the GOAT…Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin.

rami@ani.social on 28 Jul 2024 03:54 next collapse

I’m really confused how you got from polyamory to ‘getting screwed by a man.’

Elevator7009@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 04:36 next collapse

Polyamory's for lesbians too. Three women all dating each other counts. In a different comment they talk about not knowing what polyamory is, looking it up, and getting sex stuff, so maybe they saw some one-guy-two-girl porn stuff?

GBU_28@lemm.ee on 28 Jul 2024 07:13 collapse

What’s the confusion? This person wants to find a person with a ding dong to bring into their otherwise zim zam kinda life.

rami@ani.social on 28 Jul 2024 20:37 collapse

I’m not really sure, I think I misread lol

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 14:10 collapse

I think I may be misunderstanding your question. Is this not a "website for this stuff"? Or do you mean by "this stuff" a dating site? Mostly I see this site as a place for polyamory related discussion, memes, infographics, book reviews and lists, links to other 'websites for this stuff', news and related info, etc, etc. And all those things that other poly folx will think of that have never occurred to me. In case it's not crossed your radar, it's been out so long, Lesbian Polyfidelity by Celeste West was an early book in my polyamorous education. :-)

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 14:35 collapse

Thank you for the answer…no sarcasm.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 14:47 collapse

You are welcome. It's all about the conversation. I saw an opportunity to build a tiny bit of friendly space in the Fediverse. I'm a reddit-fugee, and don't need the sort of antagonism I found there in my life, any more. Yesterday, I searched up polyamory on Fedi, and with my poor search skills thought no one had made a poly community here. So I popped up something on Kbin.run as it's my 'native' instance, thinking it would be a stub, but there appears to be interest. I asked specifically, later in the day when I had searched more effectively and found that there are indeed other poly related communities, e.g. on lemmy.world, and also polyamory alberta (tho no posts there in a year, I hope they can flourish, soon) - I asked if there was a need/ interest in keeping this one (https://kbin.run/m/Polyamory), and everyone said we should keep it, as there's strength in diversity. So my poly-brain couldn't say no to that.

Don_Dickle@lemmy.world on 28 Jul 2024 14:51 collapse

Ok and not being a bitch or sarcastic that has got to be on the sidebar or something similar. You are better than my google search.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 28 Jul 2024 15:00 collapse

Umm, (coyly) why thank you! I don't use goog, if I can avoid it. Insert brief anti-corporate rant. In this case I was searching within the Feidiverse using the search bar on Kbin.run. And also searching with DuckDuckGo!, which search engine doesn't save one's searches/ results. I'll put links to other polyfedi stuff in the sidebar, good suggestion. :-)

jjjalljs@ttrpg.network on 29 Jul 2024 00:58 next collapse

I hope you’re ready for a deluge of ignorant comments. And some malicious ones.

I’m going quickly enumerate some of the more common responses.

“I knew a poly couple and they broke up!” -> we’ve all known many monogamous relationships that ended, too. Though it is true that going from a conventional, deeply entangled, monogamous relationship to something else is challenging. Read about the missing step if you’re interested. Monogamous people would also benefit.

“It’s bad for the kids!” -> the poly people I know who have kids, the kids are doing great. They have more adults in their lives that are invested in them.

“It’s just cheating!” -> cheating is when you break agreed upon rules. If the rules don’t include “only have sex with one person”, then it’s not cheating to do otherwise.

“It’s just about sex!” -> sometimes! Sometimes monogamous relationships are just about sex. Sometimes they’re not.

“I’m too jealous for that!” -> most people experience jealousy. What’s important is how you deal with it. If you’re the kind of person who has a freak out and breaks into your partner’s phone because he smiled at the waitress, that’s not ok and not something to be proud of. You can and should work on emotional regulation.

“You poly people think you’re better than everyone!” -> some people might. But that’s true for any subcategory of people. Vegans. Linux users. City dwellers. Country dwellers. I will say that living unexamined choices I think is the worse choice. If monogamy is something you really thought about and chose, fine, good for you. But if you’re just doing it because that’s expected and never gave it a thought? Less impressed. The same for eating meat or using windows.

Ok, I think that’s all the highlights.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 29 Jul 2024 13:41 collapse

We've already had "it's just about sex". And anyone that's been around has heard all the rest, and more. Let's see how it rolls, without expectations, fearless. And please, when your predictions come to fruition, come help out. It's all about education, and conversation. :-)

Flax_vert@feddit.uk on 29 Jul 2024 13:17 next collapse

Open relationships? Isn’t that just a group chat 💀

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 29 Jul 2024 13:50 collapse

!polyamory@kbin.run is the link you want to put. Otherwise it just links to !polyamory on the user’s home instance.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 29 Jul 2024 14:35 collapse

I'm confused, both those resolve to the same link, on my screen.

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 29 Jul 2024 16:14 collapse

Because your home instance is kbin.run where the community is! Try these. !programming and !programming@programming.dev

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 29 Jul 2024 16:29 collapse

I see what you mean. And I corrected the link above to what I think is correct. Can you, would you please check me on that? I'm just learning how this all works. Seems there's some federation issues for some users.

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 29 Jul 2024 21:29 collapse

No, you need to literally put !polyamory@kbin.run instead of just !polyamory. It’s like dialing someone’s phone number who lives in a different country and not including the country code when you don’t include an instance.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 29 Jul 2024 22:21 collapse

Hmm, do you realize when I copy each of those "!polyamory" (which appear as blue links) above, in your message, and then paste them next to each other in the text editor, that both of them are the same. LIke this: https://kbin.run/m/Polyamory

which further confuses me as to what you are suggesting, as I think I've done what you suggested.

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 29 Jul 2024 23:16 collapse

!polyamory@kbin.run not !polyamory. It’s like trying to email “John”. John at what? You’re on kbin.run so it goes to !polyamory@kbin.run like you expect. When I click on !polyamory it tries to go to !polyamory@programming.dev because my instance is programming.dev.

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 30 Jul 2024 00:05 collapse

Ok, thank you, it appears the fog of ignorance has been dissipated by your brilliance. I apologize for being so dense. This should work a whole lot better.

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 30 Jul 2024 17:00 collapse

It’s okay. It’s sort of a complicated thing to explain. I was trying to not be overly technical but it’s sort of difficult to explain otherwise. ❤️ I subscribed, by the way. I’m excited to interact!

Atelopus-zeteki@kbin.run on 30 Jul 2024 17:25 collapse

Thanks friend, you did well by me. Yeah, me too. The @polyamory group seems good as well. (LoL, hey, it worked!!) It's been my observation that more people all the time are looking for relationship options that fit them better than the standard monogamy model. I used to think that poly was just one of those odd things about me that not everyone shares. And I got ok with that. But the percentage of false paternity speaks to the fact that people want to cheat reproductively or otherwise. Cheating sounds way too dangerous to oneself and one's partners, with STIs, and even with hurt feelings. I prefer to talk about things, so everyone knows what's going on, and each can decide how they want to play.