homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world
on 09 Apr 2024 20:19
nextcollapse
Cool
slazer2au@lemmy.world
on 09 Apr 2024 21:37
nextcollapse
So more meetings about meetings, a 2h daily standup, and a follow-up meeting about blockers.
kiwifoxtrot@lemmy.world
on 10 Apr 2024 07:21
nextcollapse
This will ultimately lead to world peace as every army is in meetings all day.
RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com
on 10 Apr 2024 12:22
collapse
Let’s make a meeting to schedule a workshop about useless meetings then. That’ll fix all issues. Oh and we need a meeting to communicate the findings. And a retro.
Do we need some tickets for that? I’ll schedule a planning.
And some emergency meetings to talk about our low velocity.
Edit: and that isn’t too far off of our “agile” work 😭
treechicken@lemmy.world
on 09 Apr 2024 21:38
nextcollapse
“Hi team, customers observing BigCannon is missing enemy about 90% of time since latest update. Red faction reported issue 4pm ET today and opposing Blue faction was able to re-pro. Can we get all hands on deck to deep dive and push a fix by midnight so both sides can start reliably shooting at each other again before tomorrow morning? Thanks”
_dev_null@lemmy.zxcvn.xyz
on 10 Apr 2024 03:56
collapse
before tomorrow morning?
DoD contractor: Sure can, but it will cost you huge.
(Lies about the former, 100% accurate on the latter.)
specter@board.minimally.online
on 10 Apr 2024 01:50
nextcollapse
and yet y’all are also gonna keep trying to use Agile too
fogetaboutit@programming.dev
on 10 Apr 2024 03:09
nextcollapse
how many story point does an american need to kill an innocent person in gaza?
Buttons@programming.dev
on 10 Apr 2024 05:13
collapse
Giving bombs to Israel without condition is a… 6 point story I think
onlinepersona@programming.dev
on 10 Apr 2024 09:05
nextcollapse
I think it needs to be 5 or 8 so it’s a number from the Fibonacci scale.
It is also important that there is no possible way that a story point can meaningfuly represent time.
laurelraven@lemmy.blahaj.zone
on 10 Apr 2024 04:51
nextcollapse
Oh good, the blight on the world that is agile continues to spread
tatterdemalion@programming.dev
on 10 Apr 2024 08:04
collapse
I don’t understand how Agile became synonymous with “useless meetings.” I thought the whole point of Agile was to minimize wasted work.
MyNameIsRichard@lemmy.ml
on 10 Apr 2024 08:11
nextcollapse
Management trying to look useful
savedbythezsh@sh.itjust.works
on 10 Apr 2024 10:55
nextcollapse
My “scrum leader” (who we handled agile just fine without before) is constantly complaining about points or priorities shifting, to the point that he’ll tell us to not put what we’re actually working on on the board because it’ll mess up the burndown chart.
One of the 4 values of agile is “responding to change over following a plan”. He’s parroted this to us before, and yet still doesn’t seem to see the irony.
best_username_ever@sh.itjust.works
on 12 Apr 2024 08:37
collapse
Agile was about reducing the power of micro-managers. They would have understood that if they could read.
threaded - newest
Cool
So more meetings about meetings, a 2h daily standup, and a follow-up meeting about blockers.
This will ultimately lead to world peace as every army is in meetings all day.
Let’s make a meeting to schedule a workshop about useless meetings then. That’ll fix all issues. Oh and we need a meeting to communicate the findings. And a retro.
Do we need some tickets for that? I’ll schedule a planning.
And some emergency meetings to talk about our low velocity.
Edit: and that isn’t too far off of our “agile” work 😭
“Hi team, customers observing BigCannon is missing enemy about 90% of time since latest update. Red faction reported issue 4pm ET today and opposing Blue faction was able to re-pro. Can we get all hands on deck to deep dive and push a fix by midnight so both sides can start reliably shooting at each other again before tomorrow morning? Thanks”
DoD contractor: Sure can, but it will cost you huge.
(Lies about the former, 100% accurate on the latter.)
and yet y’all are also gonna keep trying to use Agile too
how many story point does an american need to kill an innocent person in gaza?
Giving bombs to Israel without condition is a… 6 point story I think
Not very Fibi of you.
Anti Commercial AI thingy
CC BY-NC-SA 4.0
I think it needs to be 5 or 8 so it’s a number from the Fibonacci scale.
It is also important that there is no possible way that a story point can meaningfuly represent time.
Oh good, the blight on the world that is agile continues to spread
I don’t understand how Agile became synonymous with “useless meetings.” I thought the whole point of Agile was to minimize wasted work.
Management trying to look useful
My “scrum leader” (who we handled agile just fine without before) is constantly complaining about points or priorities shifting, to the point that he’ll tell us to not put what we’re actually working on on the board because it’ll mess up the burndown chart.
One of the 4 values of agile is “responding to change over following a plan”. He’s parroted this to us before, and yet still doesn’t seem to see the irony.
Agile was about reducing the power of micro-managers. They would have understood that if they could read.