Patch this Bish!
from fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz on 04 Feb 16:44
https://mander.xyz/post/24485625

#science_memes

threaded - newest

Zwiebel@feddit.org on 04 Feb 17:03 next collapse

Casually forgot about cancer

Nougat@fedia.io on 04 Feb 17:07 next collapse

That’s going to take some time, it’s a kernel bug.

fnrir@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 10:22 collapse

We’ll start storing 3 or 4 copies of data, since 2 doesn’t seem to be enough. An off-site backup would also be nice. (this will only apply to new cells because see below)

Also let’s add an option to re-enable telomerase. An option, because WE DO NOT BREAK USERSPACE. Some people probably still rely on “dying” behavior.

NakariLexfortaine@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 19:23 collapse

We’ll start the carcinisation tree in 3.0.

kersploosh@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 17:06 next collapse

-cartilage in joints can regenerate

-body can synthesize its own vitamin c

Other species already do these things smh.

phdepressed@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 19:18 collapse

We used to do the vitamin c but then were like its too easy to get elsewhere why bother.

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:10 next collapse

Ahem… maybe new players forgot this, but humans have been bioluminescent since the oxygenic respiration patch ages ago.

sciencealert.com/you-can-t-see-it-but-humans-actu…

reptar@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 01:25 collapse

I want to know at what wavelengths. Did I miss it?

It bugs me that they say ‘it’s not infrared - it’s photons!’ (paraphrasing).

TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 01:29 collapse

Its not clear to me either, but since they said visible, my guesses would be 680 nanometers or 490 nanometers, because, well, hydrogen.

reptar@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 02:09 collapse

The paper (which is very short) said 500-700nm and referenced an older (1997) paper that reported on a bunch of UV and visual emitting living systems. I looked there but didn’t pinpoint an answer. It did mention that the emission doesn’t usually have sharp peaks (as the reason they trade spectral resolution for sensitivity). It seems like the emitting molecules are large, so it’s probably pretty broad.

Anyway… that made me nice and sleepy.

cm0002@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:20 next collapse

2.0? Bruh, humans are still on pre-v1 beta

Frankly, I don’t know how anyone can look at the absolute shit show that is the human body and go “yup, this was totally intelligently designed”

Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de on 04 Feb 17:57 next collapse

ironically we may well have been the only somewhat intelligently designed animal for a long time, since there’s a pretty good argument that we’re self-domesticated.

so like, we’re not just a prerelease, we’re a fucking fork of a prerelease

captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 18:11 collapse

Apparently a lot of males are still in alpha.

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca on 04 Feb 19:08 collapse

Alpha roll-out for an entire cohort is in-progress.

nettle@mander.xyz on 05 Feb 04:39 collapse

Unfortunately the alpha roll-out had a major unpached bug causing a complete internal breakdown of the ethics and intelligence processing units in all those updated.

Some hypothesis that as alpha men now have the processing capacity of an ant, they may soon evolve a hive-mind. As this would allow all mental processing to be outsourced to a singular fat orange queen.

Edit: spelling

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:20 next collapse

They are forgetting that TERRIBLE design choice where if you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek it swells up making it easier to bite it on accident again and again.

SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:34 next collapse

You’re just supposed to bite that bit off. Otherwise it’s just going to keep happening.

hinterlufer@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:40 collapse

Instructions unclear, but I can now drink through a straw without opening my mouth

corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca on 04 Feb 19:03 next collapse

on accident

Rather than by purpose? #54%

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 19:27 collapse

I’m a masochist but I have my limits. Lol

blackn1ght@feddit.uk on 04 Feb 19:59 collapse

I think they’re calling you out on saying “on accident” rather than “by accident”

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 20:33 collapse

Are both not acceptable ways of typing that out? I know I’m bad at punctuation, grammar and spelling, but I thought you could say you did something on accident or by accident interchangeably.

blackn1ght@feddit.uk on 04 Feb 20:42 collapse

Nope, it’s just by accident. Must be a certain demographic that seems to have fallen into the habit of saying it as I never hear people use “on” in real life.

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 20:46 collapse

juliatomiak.com/grammar-check-on-accident-vs-by-a…

Apparently “on accident” has been gaining usage and “by accident” is generally used by the older generations.

I’m 93 so I don’t know where I picked up “on accident” but until this day I haven’t had anyone say anything. How interesting.

blackn1ght@feddit.uk on 04 Feb 20:50 collapse

Must be just an American thing? I never hear anyone say it here!

Also, could you be on of Lemmy’s oldest users?!

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 20:58 collapse

Oh no… I meant 1993 lol.

But I cannot blame you for thinking I meant 93 years old haha. Thats my bad.

I gotta remember to put '93 or just spent the extra few milliseconds to hit the 1 and 9 keys.

Once again my laziness bites me in the ass haha

TAG@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 01:49 collapse

You are almost 2000 years old? Wow, how do you keep up with the fashion century to century?

Majorllama@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 02:24 collapse

Hahahaha. You know it’s been tough. But thankfully jeans haven’t gone out of style so I have ol reliable to always fall back on.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:23 collapse

There’s also the weird decision to put a bunch of easily-bruised bones in your butt which would normally be used for a tail.

I once had a creationist defend the coccyx as being necessary for keeping muscles together. That was fun.

moonlight@fedia.io on 04 Feb 17:23 next collapse

  • separated genetalia from waste systems

  • removed body hair and baldness

  • fixed acne glitch

  • added ability to change biological sex, with default neutral configuration

  • rerouted laryngeal nerve

  • uterus lining is now reabsorbed automatically

  • reinforced spine and knees

  • simplified foot structure

  • adjusted mental pathways to better adapt to modern environment

Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de on 04 Feb 17:47 next collapse

i’m not sure i want to know what the first point would look like, moving either the genitals or the anus sounds horrifying, and i especially don’t want to imagine where penis wielders would urinate or ejaculate from if those functions are separated…

…perhaps we’d do like octopi, reach under and fetch a sperm package that we present instead of a wedding ring? Or maybe let’s just leave it like it is and not create horrors.

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 04 Feb 18:12 collapse

Just have us piss from asshole

dingus@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 18:17 next collapse

I do that already :(

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 04 Feb 18:34 next collapse

Eat some banana

dingus@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 00:11 collapse

Are bananas known to help that or something?? I try to eat enough veggies but it still happens. Weirdly sometimes when I eat less veggies it sometimes gets better (but it also sometimes gets worse).

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 05 Feb 05:51 collapse

Honestly not sure, but I remember grandma giving me eat banana when I had wet poop to supposedly help

A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 19:06 next collapse

Ur an alcoholic

Edit: or maybe a vegan, idk. I’m an alcoholic so I calls em like I sees em

dingus@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 00:10 next collapse

My GI tract unfortunately just hates me I think!

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 01:00 collapse

Since you mentioned that, we should add a auto-sober switch. Suspend drunk button for drive home. Resume until bed, clear drunk as soon as you pass out so you can get a good nights rest.

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 02:58 collapse

Stop eating whatever is messing with your guts

kryptonidas@lemmings.world on 04 Feb 19:19 next collapse

Birds had it right all along with one waste exit.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 23:27 collapse

Turn standing while peeing into an actual skill.

hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 05:13 collapse

Tfw you accidentally poop in urinal

lena@gregtech.eu on 04 Feb 19:16 next collapse

added ability to change biological sex

PLEASE

RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com on 04 Feb 23:47 next collapse

Reabsorption of uterine lining is called being “in heat” in dogs and cats. It’s quite common in the animal world, and it makes all the males very rapey.

One of the prevailing theories about why humans pair bond is our males can’t tell when our females are ovulating/menstruating so it’s advantageous to be kinder and stick around for more sex.

TL;DR: I think that’s not a great idea.

moonlight@fedia.io on 05 Feb 14:15 collapse

Interesting, didn't know those two things were linked.

idiomaddict@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 23:47 next collapse

I like baldness and body hair! They should be optional too

VitoRobles@lemmy.today on 04 Feb 23:59 collapse

Smooth on top, rugged in the middle

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works on 05 Feb 13:44 next collapse

Let’s also reroute the ulnar nerve, thx

morrowind@lemmy.ml on 05 Feb 15:48 next collapse

What’s the laryngeal nerve and what’s wrong with it?

NightmareQueenJune@beehaw.org on 06 Feb 13:14 collapse

Iirc it goes down your neck, makes a 180 around an artery at the height of the breasts and goes up your neck again.

boneyards@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 13:38 next collapse

For some reason when I read this I read “Reticulating Splines” instead of reinforced spines. I was like wow random sims reference.

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:47 next collapse

I’d like to be able to alter body hair density based on climate.

dutchkimble@lemy.lol on 06 Feb 18:11 collapse

Remove hangovers

Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io on 04 Feb 17:38 next collapse

A. Add infrared vision to prevent burns.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:38 collapse

And x~gamma ray to prevent nuclear radiation burns.

And some electromagnetic field sensors to prevent magnets from ‘being magic’.

Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io on 05 Feb 15:27 collapse

Sorry no on the last one EMF research conclusively shows that magnets ARE magic. smh

executivechimp@discuss.tchncs.de on 04 Feb 17:45 next collapse

  • add pain snooze button
brokenlcd@feddit.it on 04 Feb 17:54 collapse

Well if we want to get pedantic, adrenaline exists.

Reyali@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:25 next collapse

Not great for long-term use in cases of chronic pain though.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:35 collapse

And the button is just more pain.

Godnroc@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 17:56 next collapse

  • Eating and breathing pathways no longer intersect. This should prevent the bug when food could block the airway and result in death.
corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca on 04 Feb 19:06 next collapse

“left user note to pause breathing while swallowing to prevent esophageal trespass when backup breathing interface used for food consumption. No change recommended to emergency breathing access. Closing DOC_UPDATE”

scops@reddthat.com on 04 Feb 20:16 next collapse

Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people believe we were “intelligently designed” when our food hole and breathing hole are so close that we can only use one at a time, and that our waste dumping grounds are right next to the amusement park.

Sonor@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 13:47 collapse

you mean the slightly more muddy amusment park, that is next to the new, purprose built one, right?

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 22:33 next collapse

Wasn’t this a compromise that allows speech? Babies can drink and breathe at the same time.

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 01:06 collapse

I remember reading humans can still “breathe” amniotic fluid once they get passed the gag reflex. I remember wondering how someone figured that out… Maybe it’s just a theory

deo@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 05 Feb 00:17 collapse

This is actually a result of changes to our larynx and stuff, which allows us to make such a variety of sounds when speaking. In other animals (and human babies), the air and food tubes are physically separated at rest. But in humans, our epiglottis can’t properly keep things separate because our larynx is further down in our throat.

So, I’m gonna have to deny this request on the grounds that it will necessarily break the speech feature, which many of our users depend on heavily.

lol_idk@lemmy.ml on 04 Feb 18:07 next collapse

Why is this command recursive?

Thorry84@feddit.nl on 04 Feb 19:04 collapse

You don’t just want to fix one human, you want to fix all the offspring as well.

verstra@programming.dev on 04 Feb 20:09 collapse

Haha. But really what does -R mean?

Or some posts have a bunch of ,…, at the end. What’s that?

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 23:57 next collapse

I think that here it is because there are multiple people running the account and they sign with an initial.

Faresh@lemmy.ml on 05 Feb 16:01 collapse

I think it’s a way for members of a plural collective to use social networks, while making it clear who is currently fronting.

verstra@programming.dev on 05 Feb 20:45 collapse

Cool thanks.

-me

Duamerthrax@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 18:54 next collapse

These are the sort of genetic engineering/eugenists I want to see. None of that “deleting gay gene” or “breeding smart people” pseudo science garbage.

AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 04 Feb 19:18 next collapse

All eugenics is pseudoscience garbage.

morrowind@lemmy.ml on 05 Feb 15:51 collapse

In that case, let’s all marry our cousins and brothers!

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:23 collapse

That’s not eugenics.

morrowind@lemmy.ml on 10 Feb 04:15 collapse

It’s selective breeding to get certain genetic qualities, which is the definition of eugenics

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 04:49 collapse

It’s avoiding bad outcomes. Babies from closely related people often have problems. Practically every culture has a method of avoiding close relatives breeding

Eugenics is about breeding for desirable qualities, a eugenicist’s ideal person still couldn’t make good kids with a close relative

morrowind@lemmy.ml on 10 Feb 06:26 collapse

Avoiding bad genetics is desirable. Just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it isn’t eugenics

fossilesque@mander.xyz on 04 Feb 20:05 collapse

I think life would be a little better if we cranked up the gay gene. Y’all know how to party.

Duamerthrax@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 20:13 next collapse

I thought you had to put something in the water for that?

fossilesque@mander.xyz on 05 Feb 14:07 collapse

That only makes the frickin frogs gay.

samus12345@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 21:54 collapse

Make everyone pansexual. It would simplify a lot of things.

LaterRedditor@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 19:20 next collapse

RGB rules

Sebbe@lemmy.sebbem.se on 04 Feb 19:23 next collapse

The mosquito. By far the worst part of the human body!

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:33 collapse

Don’t body-shame.
(Unless it’s part of some shame kink, but otherwise the ‘tiny vampiric penis’ folk easily takes offence & can swarm you.)

lars@lemmy.sdf.org on 06 Feb 13:20 collapse

The more we make fun—even pretend to make fun—of small penises, the more toxic the society we help create.

Especially since all penis sizes are awesome.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 07 Feb 01:41 collapse

Completely factual & I totally agree.

(But I maintain that the idea of vampires sucking blood via mosquito-penises is objectively funny.)

philpo@feddit.org on 04 Feb 19:23 next collapse

Can we rather make the kernel more stable before we change the design? These instabilities cause the whole process to hang itself up or terminate FAR to often!

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 20:59 next collapse

or, as I’ve taken to calling it “hu plus man”

philpo@feddit.org on 04 Feb 22:56 collapse

Okay,might be because English is not my first language,but I did not understand that one.

funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 23:08 next collapse

because you mentioned the kernel I was riffing off the Linux copypasta


I’d just like to interject for a moment. What you’re refering to as Linux, is in fact, GNU/Linux, or as I’ve recently taken to calling it, GNU plus Linux. Linux is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GNU system made useful by the GNU corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by POSIX.

Many computer users run a modified version of the GNU system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GNU which is widely used today is often called Linux, and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GNU system, developed by the GNU Project.

There really is a Linux, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. Linux is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine’s resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. Linux is normally used in combination with the GNU operating system: the whole system is basically GNU with Linux added, or GNU/Linux. All the so-called Linux distributions are really distributions of GNU/Linux!

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:21 collapse

They added a “plus” in the middle of the word “human”

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:30 next collapse

Yes, too many of the current subprocesses are just straight up cruel (most often directly to the local machine root loser user). It feels like someone wrote it as a placeholder/prototype or a sadistic joke & they just went with it, no revisions.

Zink@programming.dev on 04 Feb 23:49 collapse

This needs the confused screaming meme with KERNEL PANIC text, haha

frezik@midwest.social on 04 Feb 19:33 next collapse

If teeth regenerate, do we have to constantly chew on things like rodents? Or is it an as-needed thing?

Cenotaph@mander.xyz on 04 Feb 19:43 next collapse

Maybe we could get rows like sharks

Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk on 04 Feb 19:43 next collapse

An ass-needed thing?

YarHarSuperstar@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 21:04 next collapse

You don’t need teeth to eat ass.

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:08 collapse

You do if it’s a lightly cooked beef arse you’re eating

keepcarrot@hexbear.net on 04 Feb 21:17 next collapse

I can’t believe I need to keep chewing ass to keep my teeth in check!

I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org on 05 Feb 13:37 collapse

Hold on, baby, let me regenerate my ass eating teeth

kopasz7@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 19:51 next collapse

No, you just get a new set growing in the gums.

Prandom_returns@lemm.ee on 05 Feb 01:11 collapse

You clip them like nails.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:25 collapse

I did not need this mental image in the morning.

Emmie@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 19:45 next collapse

I would like to have modularity. Some parts I may want some not. Lemme pick and choose every other week.

I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org on 05 Feb 13:40 collapse

Modular genitals and secondary sex characteristics, yasss!

Emmie@lemm.ee on 05 Feb 14:43 collapse

Your Cart: 1284,89€, Others also browsed: Fluorescent penis kit CRISPR

callyral@pawb.social on 04 Feb 19:53 next collapse

Well, we do glow in infrared…

socsa@piefed.social on 04 Feb 21:15 collapse

And radio waves!

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 23:26 collapse

And when the static electricity randomly ignites a long fart!

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:24 collapse

Once the fart leaves your body and glows, is it really you that’s glowing? We need some philosophers in here.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 06 Feb 09:02 collapse

Yes, I know, it bothered me as I decided to even answer, that’s why I also added the ‘long’ bit (as to imply a continuous flame) to blur the inaccuracy … but what can I say, the mental image of humans just going about their business with a constant flame out their ass just won.

Still, you are completely correct.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 09:06 collapse

I just wanted some philosophical discussion about whether a fart is still you once it is expelled.

Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee on 06 Feb 11:49 collapse

Perhaps if the initial combustion is happening deep enough within ones asshole then the light that escapes though the flesh (and not the gaping hole directly) can be considered as bioluminescence?

Or does it need to originate from within the cells?

(I like the discission, we are scientists doing science.)

arsCynic@beehaw.org on 04 Feb 20:23 next collapse

Tomāto, tomäto.
Mosquito, Muskuito.

I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org on 05 Feb 13:39 collapse

Mosquito, Moscato

Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 20:24 next collapse

Saltwater consumption when???

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 01:11 next collapse

I think that’s just kidney 2.0 right?

fnrir@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:12 collapse

It’ll be fixed when we starting storing element counts as 64-bit integers (instead of 32-bit).

lars@lemmy.sdf.org on 06 Feb 13:23 collapse

Oh the old 2038 problem. Got it.

But we need something v2.0 times as good as that, so like v4072.00 if my calculations are correct.

WrenFeathers@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 21:07 next collapse

I’d like someone to at least look into the whole ADHD thing. It’s been going on for some time now without any word on why it’s there, or what it’s for- and aside from funny and relatable memes, it’s yet to provide any positive results.

mdd@lemm.ee on 05 Feb 00:15 next collapse

I’d like to add depression and anxiety to fixing ADHD as an individual can exhibit all three.

This can be split into several patches if necessary.

WrenFeathers@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 00:47 collapse

Absolutely! I just figured that for many, addressing the one will help the others, but yeah… they are their own bugs unto themselves for a lot of people.

Aqarius@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 05:52 collapse

Or, like, at least a caffeine gland or something.

Railcar8095@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 21:09 next collapse

Overly sarcastic productions is one of my favorite YouTube channels.

Give it a go!

socsa@piefed.social on 04 Feb 21:12 next collapse

Technically every warm blooded organism is bioluminescent.

ClathrateG@hexbear.net on 04 Feb 21:14 next collapse

www.theguardian.com/…/human-bioluminescence

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 21:33 next collapse

I remember a college conversation with a bio major when I said I wished we could just eliminate mosquitos. She said if there were no mosquitoes it would be disastrous because some other thing eats them that gets eaten by some other thing, I don’t remember the details, but essentially it would destroy the whole food chain. I couldn’t help thinking that these bugs etc. would probably eat something else because you know, they would be hungry. Just a couple students with a little bit of knowledge thinking they could conclusively analyze the world. And new here we all are on social media doing the same thing.

MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml on 05 Feb 14:22 next collapse

I’ve read a while ago that the only vew spiders who occasionally eat them don’t really like them either, because they have low nutritional value. In short, mosquitos are pretty much useless.

LovableSidekick@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 19:25 collapse

Ain’t much meat on 'em.

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:32 collapse

There’s not many* types of mosquito that are a problem for humans. If we wiped out the dangerous ones, there would still be plenty of mozzy to go around

*I feel like it’s either 1 or 3

aaa@lemmy.sdf.org on 04 Feb 21:45 next collapse

photosynthesis?

samus12345@lemm.ee on 04 Feb 21:50 collapse

We require too much power for it to suffice alone, but it would be nice to have as a hybrid source of energy!

ryedaft@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 22:28 next collapse

Someone did the math for photosynthetic cows and they would only get about 1% of their energy requirement. It’s not viable.

absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz on 04 Feb 22:40 collapse

Cows farm out their photosynthesis to things that have far more surface area than they do.

kapitol@lemmy.ca on 04 Feb 23:03 next collapse

What about symbiosis with algae

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 05 Feb 01:04 next collapse

It’d be nice to have one big leaf on my back that I could use for shade and a snack. Doubles as an umbrella for rain.

Aqarius@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 05:53 next collapse

Have you considered just carrying a big leaf around?

phlegmy@sh.itjust.works on 05 Feb 16:32 collapse

Looks like the caterpillars have found their way to Lemmy…

I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org on 05 Feb 13:38 collapse

Old Man’s War by Scalzi

absGeekNZ@lemmy.nz on 04 Feb 22:47 next collapse

Add new receptors to be able to feel wetness.
This is it cold or wet thing we have going on is just crappy design.

tiny@midwest.social on 04 Feb 23:05 next collapse

I would have thought eating and breathing from the same hole would have been in this release 😞 guess I’ll just have to wait till 3.0

VitoRobles@lemmy.today on 04 Feb 23:58 collapse

Wait, you can’t eat and breathe through the same hole?

I_am_10_squirrels@beehaw.org on 05 Feb 13:36 next collapse

They should be dedicated holes for each process

mindbleach@sh.itjust.works on 05 Feb 19:51 collapse

Trouble is, you can’t not.

chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world on 04 Feb 23:21 next collapse

You say that now but wait till you’re sleeping in a tree (to escape the dinosaurs) and start to fall and there’s nothing to wake you! Then you’ll be sorry you wished away that “glitch!”

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:27 collapse

The difference between your scenario and the glitch is that in the glitch you are in fact not actually falling

TheSlad@sh.itjust.works on 04 Feb 23:59 next collapse

Am I weird in that I actually like the hypnic jerk feeling? It doesnt happen often to me, maybe once every few months. I also like bedspins, used to get them every night as a child/teen. though they rarely happen anymore. It was like my own personal rollercoaster ride!

nthavoc@lemmy.today on 05 Feb 00:08 next collapse

I’d like to request a bug fix: Eyelashes falling into eyeball. Need to fix the physics so they probably spring away or wash out easier.

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 01:03 collapse

Maybe just not fall out. Let’s just add a user creetion set-up like a video game. Choose sex, height, weight, legs arms blah blah blah.

Some people would spend 3 hours every morning changing their look, others would always look the same. Some people would be swapping mid activities.

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:18 collapse

If me in computer games that allow character alteration in game is any guide I would be re-speccing myself daily sometimes until I find a look that’s right then sticking to that for ages

mindbleach@sh.itjust.works on 05 Feb 00:12 next collapse

Three Panel Soul.

<img alt="" src="https://www.threepanelsoul.com/comics/1626764673-791.png">

<img alt="" src="https://www.threepanelsoul.com/comics/1627280189-792.png">

caseyweederman@lemmy.ca on 05 Feb 01:56 collapse

3PS is amazing.

Meowstermind@slrpnk.net on 05 Feb 00:52 next collapse

We need to have some process engineers look at the pregnancy and birthing process, there’s much room for improvement. Maybe take a totally new approach to it, it’s just not it.

caseyweederman@lemmy.ca on 05 Feb 01:58 next collapse

Just divide at a cellular level, nature has already solved this problem! Upstart life forms these days thinking they can reinvent the wheel.

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 00:51 next collapse

Agreed, that shits rough on people. Impacts of teeth and post-partum. Yet a funny thing there is that we can tell you down to the day you were impregnated by the growth of the fetus.

Next person. Sir drink this stuff to make you shit your brains out and I’m going to shove my finger in your ass to see if we can get a scope of what your insides are like.

ICastFist@programming.dev on 06 Feb 12:42 collapse

The engineer solution: back to egg laying, which also fixes menstruation

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 05 Feb 01:03 next collapse

  • Suffocation sensation is now tied to a lack of oxygen instead of an abundance of carbon dioxide.
Hoimo@ani.social on 05 Feb 15:23 collapse

Would that fix our carbonmonoxide weakness?

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 05 Feb 18:43 collapse

It wouldn’t make carbon monoxide less poisonous to us, but depending on how sensitive the sensation of suffocation is made it would help us realize something is wrong and maybe even eliminate the need for carbon monoxide detectors.

Carbon monoxide isn’t only dangerous because it’s not oxygen, but because it disrupts our blood’s normal process of absorbing oxygen and expelling carbon dioxide. My laymen understanding is that it sort of jams the door lol. As opposed to things like nitrogen which merely gets in the way but don’t disrupt the process.

Imagine if instead of getting a headache and feeling sleepy when carbon monoxide was in your body you started to feel like you were holding your breath too long.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 23:24 next collapse

How about add a process that uses energy to convert co2 back to oxygen to increase the amount of time we can go without, plus enable weight loss via holding one’s breath.

JackbyDev@programming.dev on 05 Feb 23:53 collapse

I’m trying to make reasonable patches, not change the laws if physics.

Buddahriffic@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 00:07 collapse

Plants have a mechanism like that. Surely there’s gotta be some chemical path that can take co2 plus some form of stored energy we use to break off the o2. I don’t expect it to be efficient. Just useful in scenarios where oxygen is needed now, otherwise that stored energy is useless in the future.

kuberoot@discuss.tchncs.de on 06 Feb 08:25 collapse

The issue is, plants do that by combining water and CO2 into energetic compounds, with an oxygen byproduct - then they do the same our bodies do, which is breaking up those energetic compounds using oxygen to release the stored energy. And yes, plants consume oxygen and produce CO2 - they just do more of the opposite turning the excess into structural materials.

This requires a supply of energy in a form that can be consumed (laws of physics prevent you doing it by cooling your body down), so you’d need to, for example, receive enough energy from sunlight to match your energy consumption, and generating oxygen through that would actively make you fatter.

Oh, and as an addendum, we could maybe use less oxygen to break up those energetic compounds, similarly to how fuel can burn with reduced oxygen - but the fun thing about that is, that produces carbon monoxide, actual poison, so that’s also a no-go.

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 05:05 collapse

CO binds to haemoglobin (the oxygen carriers in your blood) just like O^2, but a little stronger. Effectively each molecule of CO puts one haemoglobin out of action, making you less able to transport oxygen out of your lungs

TDCN@feddit.dk on 05 Feb 05:59 next collapse

Can we also fix the depression glitch where happiness points aren’t collected and your brain energy bar depleats completely with no way of regeneration without hacking the brain with 3rd party tool antidepressants.

UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca on 05 Feb 13:29 next collapse

Exercice helps but 3rd party tool are often still needed.

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works on 05 Feb 13:42 collapse

They just need to eliminate diminishing returns that they introduced back in the beta.

T156@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 06:21 next collapse

Humans do bioluminisce, it’s just too weak for human eyes and most detectors.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:23 next collapse

Thank you, I came here to say the same thing. The problem isn’t that we don’t glow, it’s the fact that our eyes suck.

cows_are_underrated@feddit.org on 06 Feb 08:36 next collapse

Also you are a flying squid and not a glowing squid, so its no wonder that we/you don’t glow.

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:38 collapse

I speak as a human when I wear my human costume. That’s exactly why I have this shirt:

<img alt="" src="https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/479e2cd5-059a-47dd-917e-98864d8707ff.png">

cows_are_underrated@feddit.org on 06 Feb 09:47 collapse

Lol

CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:42 collapse

Don’t we have some of the best eyes in the entire animal kingdom except for birds?

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 08:43 next collapse

Not good enough obviously.

Ghosthacked@lemm.ee on 06 Feb 10:16 next collapse

“Best eyes”

Adjusts glasses

psud@aussie.zone on 10 Feb 03:02 collapse

We have blood vessels in front of our visual sensors. Squid and octopuses have better designed eyes.

I don’t know how we compare in visual acuity to them, but they don’t need to fake as much of their visual field as we do

Zacryon@feddit.org on 06 Feb 10:28 next collapse

TIL
Thanks for the link! This is really awesome.

Zerush@lemmy.ml on 06 Feb 14:38 collapse

A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

[deleted] on 07 Feb 03:17 next collapse

.

T156@lemmy.world on 07 Feb 03:19 collapse

A lot of Bioluminiscence, but Infrared light as almost in any living be, which we can’t see without special devices.

It’s different from the blackbody radiation that body heat produces.

Structural weakness not only in the lower back, but also in the knees. The human being still has many reminists of an quadruped, as one of the younger species. He still has a way to be optimized as bipedo. Lower back and knees are still not optimized for this, apart of some other static and organic problems. We are still in phase beta.

Evolution doesn’t follow the rules of intelligent design anyhow. If they did, we would all be crabs.

Zerush@lemmy.ml on 07 Feb 12:01 collapse

Infrarojo is different from light visible only by wavelength and energy.

Nothing to do with intelligent design, evolution is a self -regulating process due to environmental conditions. Given that the life of a human being is relatively long, naturally last generational evolutionary changes in a very complex organism, due to viable positive genetic variations, where a 99.99% is not, much longer until optimization. Somewhat more than 2 millon years isn’t enough for this, less with continuous changes in the environment and conditions. Simple organism with a short life cycle can optimize in days, but complex organism like humans can’t. Other beings have needed hundreds of millions of years for a perfect body, but with the price of already have the veto of evolving more. After perfection there can only be decay.

RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 06:22 next collapse

When are the rest of you going to get the magenta receptor update?

KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de on 05 Feb 13:49 next collapse

How can one fix mosquitos in humans?

Sonor@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 13:57 collapse

just slap them on the humans

MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml on 05 Feb 14:09 next collapse

Mosquitos are not humanity though.

Furbag@lemmy.world on 05 Feb 23:37 next collapse

I want my prehensile tail back, not this vestigial piece of SHIT!

LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 06 Feb 00:47 collapse

How do you picture it? Like a spider monkey, a fox, or like one of those hippopotamus’s who helicopter chops their shit everywhere?

One sounds useful, one sounds cute, one sounds like your asserting dominance over unexpecting persons waiting in queue

Manalith@midwest.social on 06 Feb 11:55 collapse

I feel like different races would have different tails based on what’s most useful to their environment.

Zacryon@feddit.org on 06 Feb 10:26 next collapse

  • regrow hair cells to mitigate hearing loss
  • (optional) eternal life and youth
mathias_freire@lemmy.ml on 06 Feb 10:44 next collapse

Eternal life is p2w coming with season pass

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:44 collapse

These days it ain’t looking like a bunch of us ought to live forever.

bluewing@lemm.ee on 06 Feb 10:41 next collapse

I think “Patch this Bish” is kind of how we got to this point.

ICastFist@programming.dev on 06 Feb 12:40 next collapse

Also please reroute the food pipe to not use the air pipe

lightnsfw@reddthat.com on 06 Feb 14:04 next collapse

But feeling like I’m falling when I’m going to sleep is the only time I really feel alive…

SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:31 next collapse

  • remove redundant form of hemoglobin

Ah yes let’s make the entire system vulnerable so a single attack vector can shutdown every node.

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:45 next collapse

I would absolutely go for 6 fingers. Preferably an additional thumb. Not to mention an additional joint in each. Let’s go base 12!

gari_9812@lemmy.world on 07 Feb 04:31 collapse

6 fingers feature already in development, available to some users in PTR

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:48 next collapse

Could we also do something about the dark triad traits?

Olhonestjim@lemmy.world on 06 Feb 14:50 next collapse

I’d like to reengineer the mosquito to draw blood samples, identify viruses, then create and spread vaccinations.

Phoenicianpirate@lemm.ee on 06 Feb 14:50 collapse

I’m glad I’m not the only one who has nightmares of slipping on ice and falling down stairs when I sleep. The kicks I do are annoying.