Finish the story, chat.
from fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz on 31 Aug 13:39
https://mander.xyz/post/37040054

#science_memes

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filtoid@lemmy.ml on 31 Aug 13:52 next collapse

takes to Reddit

Help! Something sensitive is stuck in a cylinder and I need to get it out…

4am@lemmy.zip on 31 Aug 14:35 collapse

You should only ever use penguins with a flared base

toofpic@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 13:55 next collapse

Not sure if it’s popular internationally, but in Russian, “a calculation for a spherical horse in vacuum” is used quite often

beveradb@sh.itjust.works on 31 Aug 14:23 next collapse

What does it mean?

toofpic@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 14:54 collapse

It’s when you make some calculations or plans, but they would only work in “perfect” conditions. Like when you have an assignment about a horse running from A to B, and you made some calculations, but you disregard horse’s shape, friction, air resistance, and gravity

beveradb@sh.itjust.works on 31 Aug 15:54 next collapse

Oh cool, thanks for explaining! I guess the closest equivalent phrasing I’m used to would be “sounds good on paper” - or in Scotland (home for me) someone would probably reply with "Aye, and if my granny had wheels she’d be a bike.” 😂

alzymologist@sopuli.xyz on 31 Aug 16:24 collapse

Nah, that’s more like russian “if grandmother had balls, she’d be grandfather”

Engywuck@lemmy.zip on 31 Aug 16:27 collapse

And the horse

princess@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 31 Aug 18:30 next collapse
wewbull@feddit.uk on 31 Aug 20:05 collapse

Spherical cows is the one I always hear.

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz on 31 Aug 13:59 next collapse

Sorry but even after doing that it is still clear we need more tariffs on the penguins whether we assume they are cylinders or not.

y8h8do3a2vg5@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 14:00 next collapse

It is not a square cylinder.

A triangular cylinder is right out.

JasonDJ@lemmy.zip on 31 Aug 14:04 next collapse

Square cylinders are just cubes. Triangle cylinders are triangular prisms.

I don’t see the problem, really. What other shape would a penguin come in?

notabot@piefed.social on 31 Aug 14:44 next collapse

What other shape would a penguin come in?

They're typically roughly cuboid, though best approximated with rounded corners, and wrapped in a layer of plastic.

I might need a snack.

<img alt="" src="https://pladis-mcvities-production.s3.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/s3fs-public/styles/product/public/2025-03/Packshot-penguin-milk-choc-2.png.webp?itok=IGbluXvI">

don@lemmy.ca on 31 Aug 15:14 collapse

What other shape would a penguin come in?

An oloid, the only shape nature has ever intending them to be in.

FooBarrington@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 19:03 collapse

But what shall I do once a circular cylinder has been assumed? A cylinder whose cross section takes the shape of a circle?

bazus1@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 14:05 next collapse

Therefore the density of penguin flesh on a flat glacier surface can be estimated to be 3pi/4 l x w x h where length and width are the area of the penguins, and h is the average height of the penguin.

CubitOom@infosec.pub on 31 Aug 14:47 next collapse

It is imperative that the cylinder not be harmed.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 01 Sep 00:34 next collapse

… the cylinder knows where it is, because it knows where it isn’t: where it was, and where it likely will be.

Raptorox@sh.itjust.works on 01 Sep 12:05 collapse

It’s a cylinder

omgboom@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 31 Aug 15:04 next collapse

Accelerate the penguin to 99% the speed of light

FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 17:49 collapse

Assume no air resistance

whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 31 Aug 15:09 next collapse

From the patent for pneumatic tubes delivery systems

kubica@fedia.io on 31 Aug 15:25 next collapse

Ok, but let me see the the source code of the cylinder.

als@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 31 Aug 16:53 next collapse

My guess is that this is to do with penguin huddling and circle packing

khannie@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 19:39 next collapse

Now assume pi is 4. Proceed to have a nervous breakdown.

20 points.

sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 01 Sep 00:31 next collapse

In conclusion, the physical properties of penguins constitute a suboptimal replacement for graphite moderation of neutron propogation in a nuclear reactor.

Further, tested penguins were largely non responsive to all different training approaches attempting to have them associate the verbal command “Scram!” with the desired behavior of promptly entering the reactor pool.

tomiant@programming.dev on 01 Sep 04:33 next collapse

The only thing missing is a period.

Gustephan@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 06:22 next collapse

(…) of uniform density in a neutral vacuum.

neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works on 01 Sep 06:32 next collapse

…In a vacuum.

Dr_Nik@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 08:34 next collapse

…of bird like material which can be represented by a mass average of bone and flesh. This can be used in bird strike simulations for studying aircraft windshield performance as compared to thawed penguins shot out of a pneumatic canon. (I actually went to a talk that discussed exactly this except you replace “penguin” with “bird” in general).

pH3ra@lemmy.ml on 01 Sep 11:35 next collapse

… how many linux users got mad?

ICastFist@programming.dev on 01 Sep 13:53 collapse

Enough to create at least 5 different distros

billwashere@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 12:54 next collapse

On a frictionless plane?

lmmarsano@lemmynsfw.com on 01 Sep 13:13 next collapse

Other than break accessibility, searchability, fault tolerance, & make the web less usable, what is this image of text lacking alt text doing that real text doesn’t?

icelimit@lemmy.ml on 02 Sep 10:46 next collapse

As opposed to a rectangular cylinder

Zerush@lemmy.ml on 02 Sep 11:43 collapse

I always compared pinguins with a Klein Bottle