how do you slice it??
from fossilesque@mander.xyz to science_memes@mander.xyz on 26 Aug 00:47
https://mander.xyz/post/36696797

#science_memes

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Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone on 26 Aug 00:57 next collapse

Even if you think height divided by two, why even describe it that way? Giraffes are tall, but not so unfathomably tall that something half its size is incomprehensible. That’s 7-9ish feet. You couldn’t say the size of Andre the Giant?

Lumidaub@feddit.org on 26 Aug 01:02 next collapse

The Youth Today don’t know who that is. Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is? We may never know.

logicbomb@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 01:32 collapse

Then again, do they know how large a giraffe is?

Just today, I learned a handy way of visualizing the size of a giraffe. If you took that asteroid that struck off the coast of Iceland, and made a copy of it and put the two of them together, that’s about the size of a giraffe.

Lumidaub@feddit.org on 26 Aug 01:35 next collapse

If that doesn’t get you some Nobel prize, I don’t know what will.

mushroommunk@lemmy.today on 26 Aug 01:44 collapse

Sorry, I need that in dishwashers or ping pong balls

xylol@leminal.space on 26 Aug 03:21 collapse

I think you just need to translate everything to bananas then go in from there

marcos@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 02:12 next collapse

People usually measure asteroids by mass (but then, those people are already abnormal, so who knows?), if so, it’s something around the size of a cow.

Or maybe they could use metric…

cute_noker@feddit.dk on 26 Aug 04:51 collapse

A big rock, maybe this is the appropriate time to use stone

marcos@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 18:33 collapse

How many stones does a big rock weight?

cute_noker@feddit.dk on 28 Aug 11:49 collapse

Very big stone = big rock Big stone = rock Stone = small rock

Everyone that says metric is easy haven’t figured this out.

Okokimup@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 02:44 next collapse

Alex Horn wrote it.

Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone on 26 Aug 02:57 collapse

Sorry, I don’t get the reference and the Wikipedia page didn’t help!

FearfulSalad@ttrpg.network on 26 Aug 03:41 collapse

In his show Taskmaster he is well known for both writing tasks and making jokes through intentionally obtuse language and uncommon phrasing. Frequently the “obvious” interpretation of a task turns out to be non-obvious, or the answer to a riddle is this kind of nondeterministic situation that trips up the contestants and makes for better funny.

Which is to say, the author of the headline is a troll, and did it internationally to bait this very kind of conversation. You won’t know which way they sliced the giraffe unless you read the entire thing! Of course, after you do, you still won’t know.

Catoblepas@piefed.blahaj.zone on 26 Aug 03:53 collapse

Ah, no wonder the Wikipedia page didn’t help… the top result when I searched was for a cult leader named Alex Horn. Thanks for the explanation!

ohulancutash@feddit.uk on 26 Aug 04:00 next collapse

They meant Alex Horne

Okokimup@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 21:43 collapse

The above explanation is correct, but specifically, he uses weird measurements. Like if a task involves counting a distance, he won’t use something reasonable like meters, but how many rubber ducks long.

Nakoichi@hexbear.net on 26 Aug 05:12 collapse

Or just slice it long ways down the middle. Bilateral symmetry makes this pretty easy.

ohulancutash@feddit.uk on 26 Aug 01:02 next collapse

I’m surprised they didn’t use immigrants as the unit.

resipsaloquitur@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 01:13 next collapse

Laterally.

LillyPip@lemmy.ca on 26 Aug 01:38 next collapse

Everyone who’s dealt with kids knows you have to bisect the giraffe equally from nose to tail so everyone gets 2 legs, or somebody will cry that it’s unfair.

pfwood178@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 01:42 next collapse

Everyone who deals with scientists knows they assume a perfectly spherical, frictionless, giraffe.

[deleted] on 26 Aug 01:45 next collapse

.

mushroommunk@lemmy.today on 26 Aug 01:45 next collapse

In a vacuum

jaybone@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:06 next collapse

lol a giraffe would never fit in my vacuum.

PaupersSerenade@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 07:00 next collapse

You have to remember to take the Elephant out first.

0x0@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 12:28 collapse

That was a snake.

Akasazh@feddit.nl on 26 Aug 18:46 collapse

Git gud

ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de on 26 Aug 12:20 collapse

If it’s frictionless, then a proper scientist already knows it’s in a perfect vacuum.

mushroommunk@lemmy.today on 26 Aug 13:48 collapse

Not necessarily. Two objects can still have friction in a vacuum together.

ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de on 26 Aug 16:28 collapse

There was only half a giraffe. It didn’t say half a giraffe and some molecules.

Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 13:25 collapse

I cant remember, what is the friction coefficient for a giraffe?

marcos@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 02:13 next collapse

Make sure to get the same number of spots too.

Pudutr0n@feddit.cl on 26 Aug 02:42 next collapse

Kids are total commies.

bulwark@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 03:58 next collapse

I let one cut and the other gets to pick first.

zakobjoa@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 05:19 collapse

This is the way. And from experience, it will result in sub-nanometer size differences.

[deleted] on 26 Aug 04:26 next collapse

.

[deleted] on 26 Aug 04:58 collapse

.

jaybone@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:03 collapse

I think you mean Solomon.

[deleted] on 26 Aug 05:14 collapse

.

jaybone@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:16 next collapse

I think Samson made my luggage.

[deleted] on 26 Aug 05:20 collapse

.

jaybone@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:23 collapse

He didn’t personally build it.

shalafi@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 06:16 next collapse

This is great! I feel I’m reading a drunk Brit who has some familiarity with the Bible, just a little.

Oi! They’re both cunts!

somethingsnappy@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 06:29 collapse

Fewer

[deleted] on 26 Aug 10:30 collapse

.

Kirca@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 01:58 next collapse

This is why real scientists use the only reasonable real world measurement - a perfectly spherical cow in a vacuum.

TorJansen@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 04:16 collapse

Hmm. Thought they used bananas.

jaybone@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:09 collapse

Maybe in a shop vac.

satanmat@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 02:42 next collapse

Dear gods

How far will these Americans go to not use the metric system… ffs

ohulancutash@feddit.uk on 26 Aug 04:01 next collapse

Sadly they’re not American. Containment has been breached.

ayyy@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 05:34 next collapse

Your bigotry has blinded you so much you couldn’t even see the two biggest, boldest words in the picture.

satanmat@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 13:51 collapse

Oh no; I saw it was the DM… I just assumed that the writer must have been American.

You are SO correct, as I should have realized by the giraffe unit of measure.

I’m at a loss as to the Venn diagram where giraffe and imperial would overlap…

Semjaza@lemmynsfw.com on 26 Aug 08:24 collapse

Daily Mail are the sort who think adopting the metric system let all the foreigners into Britain and led to the downfall of empire. Probably in that order.

EvilEdgelord@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 02:44 next collapse

You divide the giraffe vertically down the center 🤦‍♂️

SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 17:54 collapse

Coronal or Sagittal?

oyfrog@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 03:01 next collapse

The anatomical answer is sagitally down the midline.

MrSulu@lemmy.ml on 26 Aug 04:41 next collapse

The Daily Mail readership will not fathom your question. It is a rag for those who would follow MAGA but want to appear intelligent without have either the natural talent or putting in any work to increase knowledge. Baseline racism is a requirement

MourningDove@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 05:04 next collapse

I love it when I can understand your memes!

fossilesque@mander.xyz on 26 Aug 06:12 collapse

Ask questions when you do not. :)

MourningDove@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 06:29 collapse

Oh I wouldn’t begin to know what to even ask. I’m a music major lol. But if I think of something, I’ll pipe up.

fossilesque@mander.xyz on 26 Aug 06:38 collapse

Start with where you are, others will be there too. :)

MourningDove@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 06:39 collapse

Thanks! I’ll do that.

Bronstein_Tardigrade@lemmygrad.ml on 26 Aug 05:37 next collapse

They could have just used inanimate objects not requiring bisection; basketballs, refrigerators, cars, busses, buildings, etc. Why bring sn abattoir into the mix?

HenriVolney@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 05:45 next collapse

How much is it in bananas?

nialv7@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 05:48 next collapse

obviously the scientists meant a spherical giraffe in a vacuum

Karjalan@lemmy.world on 27 Aug 04:47 collapse

Personally I thought it was obvious that they were talking about the outer half

[deleted] on 26 Aug 05:51 next collapse

.

meme_historian@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 06:38 next collapse

One standard volume giraffe of course, i.e. the volume in m³ an average giraffe would fill (at room temperature and sea level), when passed through a blender. And then half of that

psycho_driver@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 10:30 collapse

The scientists had to go through many more proportionate animals before discovering that half a giraffe was a near perfect match for the size of the asteroid.

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 12:19 next collapse

Nah, there’s a list somewhere of typical weights, dimensions, volumes, etc. of common items. They just put in their value and it pops up. They’re nerds first, and scientists second. You KNOW this exists somewhere, and they all have it bookmarked.

meme_historian@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 13:16 collapse

As it turns out, the emergence and popularization of Zoos during the Victorian era was largely driven by the work conducted at the Royal Institute for Volumetric Measurements in London.

Similarly the expansion of the British empire was mostly driven by the need to find ever larger exotic animals in order to establish comparative volumetric weights for the ever larger ships and constructions of that era.

“25.678 standard volume foxes”, was starting to become a bit unwieldy when describing a cargo vessel’s size.

BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 10:51 next collapse

And is it half the volume, mass or a dimension? Because I’ve never tried neither blending or carrying a giraffe before (I never got invited to those parties in uni) so I have no grasp on volume or mass.

Natanael@infosec.pub on 26 Aug 10:57 next collapse

Just the left half

BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 11:09 collapse

Surely a giraffe is nearly uniform density making the distinction between volume and mass irrelevant

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 11:16 next collapse

Even if it is not if you are just looking at the toal volume or mass it makes no difference when you halve it.

BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 11:20 collapse

It kind of does if you half the volume. If you end up with the hypothetical gas filled half of a giraffe then it’s less mass than if you end up with the meat filled half.

Unless you were only trying to convey volume to begin with then yes it doesn’t make a difference.

BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 11:39 next collapse

An astroid the mass of the meat half of a giraffe and the volume of 5kg of somewhat dry duck feathers…

I’m beginning to think that it would more relatable if it was just stated in kg or m^3 instead

Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 12:14 collapse

Which part of the giraffe is filled with gas though?.

Are we talking about a cube that is drawn around the giraffe for it’s volume or are we talking about the volume of the giraffe if you submerge it in wter and measure the displaced volume?

BillBurBaggins@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 13:49 collapse

No part, thats why I said hypothetical. But it’s the only way to make sense of the claim that volume Vs mass is an issue.

Hopefully we’re not imagining halving the bounding box around the giraffe including the air

Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 12:28 collapse

Assume a spherical giraffe.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 11:14 next collapse

I don’t get why Americans are doing their best to avoid the metric system. It’s always weird discriptions. Like dishwashers, or in this case, half a giraffe. Just use bananas if (cubic) meters are too complex.

morkyporky@suppo.fi on 26 Aug 11:28 next collapse

Isn’t daily mail in the UK?

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 11:34 collapse

You mean wannabe US? (never truly accepted metric system, even discussed to change back to imperial)

Edit: fair point though. My bad.

ouRKaoS@lemmy.today on 26 Aug 12:15 collapse

As a USian, even we are baffled by measuring things in hands and stone.

wischi@programming.dev on 26 Aug 18:07 collapse

Exactly. The only real unit is football fields.

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 11:38 next collapse

People enjoy when things are compared in this way, it’s really not that shocking.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 11:40 next collapse

Other people (me) hate it.

prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 11:54 collapse

Neat, thanks for letting us all know!

Why do people online caste Americans as the culprit when this is clearly from a British source?

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 26 Aug 12:14 collapse

Yeah sorry, based on assumption. Because the US (plus a few tiny islands) refuses to switch to metric even though imperial is obsolete and complicated. It’s also usual practice in the US to use weird things for measurements. Cars, dishwashers, etc.

So in this case it was a wrong assumption on my part.

I’m deeply sorry.

bstix@feddit.dk on 26 Aug 11:43 collapse

It’s more of a journalist thing. They take the words out of your mouth to reach their own conclusion fast and deliver an answer that’ll fit inside the allocated screen time.

“When you heard that people use things instead of measurements to explain the size of other things, exactly how shocking was it to you?”

They describe these random things to avoid people talking about giraffes for hours.

lightnsfw@reddthat.com on 26 Aug 19:22 collapse

It’s not like we don’t have imperial units to use. It’s just easier to visualize an object you’re familiar with than 20ft/6m or whatever other unit. Giraffes is a strange choice though.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 27 Aug 11:27 collapse

Friends of mine are expecting a child. They have an app to compare the current size of the baby. It has the weirdest choices:

  • Wedding cake (they are always the same size? Depends on the budget right? So if you’re rich your child is bigger than when you’re poor, when it’s the wedding cake size?)
  • flat box of chocolates (always the same size? Flat child?)
  • small popcorn bucket
  • small pinguin (there are so many differently sized small pinguïns)
  • cotton candy (last one I had was huge, I feel sorry for the woman with a child that size in their womb)
  • maki
  • jackfruit
  • rhubarb (so it’s a stick shaped child?)
  • kitten (a grows the most as a kitten. They are kitten for the first year. It’s like saying the size of your baby is the size of a baby.)

I have no clue what these sizes are exactly. I do know what 10cm or 20cm is.

Agent641@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 11:32 next collapse

Bifurcated down between the eyes

TheSlad@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 11:51 next collapse

Also, most people dont even have a good grasp on how big giraffes are anyways!

I once went to a zoo that had an elevated platform extending into the giraffe’s habitat so that you could stand face to face with them. Their heads are as big as a normal human, like 5 feet from crown to chin!

xorollo@leminal.space on 26 Aug 13:38 next collapse

Wow!

TonyTonyChopper@mander.xyz on 26 Aug 16:27 collapse

This is what Big Giraffe doesn’t want you to know <img alt="" src="https://mander.xyz/pictrs/image/682b82b7-b019-469e-8c8c-7de722fb385c.jpeg">

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 17:22 collapse

Ah yes the Newfoundland garden giraffe, often times overlooked due to the Canadian House Hippo.

SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org on 27 Aug 04:28 collapse

I wish there was Hippos at the white house.

ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de on 26 Aug 12:21 next collapse

Catie can STFU because she doesn’t know what a question mark looks like.

0x0@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 12:25 next collapse

Should’ve used bananas for scale.

0x0@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 12:30 next collapse

What’s with the spherical comments in a vacuum?

tempest@lemmy.ca on 26 Aug 13:54 collapse

One of the first things they will teach you in engineering design is to start by simplifying the model. So if you’re trying to figure out something like the surface area is a fish you assume it’s a cylinder then the math is easy. Same thing with assuming the object is in a vacuum. If you do that you ignore wind resistance and it makes the math easier. You can come back later and take the wind resistance into account.

seraphine@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 26 Aug 13:39 next collapse

americans be using anything but the metric system

Jumbie@lemmy.zip on 26 Aug 13:55 next collapse

I was thinking this must be metric because only Europeans with their noses firmly in the air would get it.

the_crotch@sh.itjust.works on 26 Aug 16:05 next collapse

Its time to retire the metric system in favor of something base 12. Base 10 is for children who need to count on their fingers, base 12 is easier to divide into quarters or thirds. Babylon was right.

kalpol@lemmy.ca on 26 Aug 17:38 next collapse

Daily Mail is British

LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org on 26 Aug 18:16 next collapse

But they’re the sort of British that yearns for the good old days, when we still had shillings and inches and diphtheria and jumpers for goalposts and no womens’ rights and all that great British stuff.

perviouslyiner@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 21:11 collapse

British people old enough to have supported the original nazis be using anything but the metric system

buttnugget@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 18:01 collapse

Americans be using metric all our lives.

helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 23:28 collapse

Yeah, we measure our soda in liters all the time, but only the 2 litre bottles. Other sizes are in ounces, and milk is in gallons and sometimes pints.

SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org on 27 Aug 04:27 collapse

Let’s not go there. T’is a silly place.

Jankatarch@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 13:41 next collapse

Halved with a vertical cut.

BlushedPotatoPlayers@sopuli.xyz on 26 Aug 14:06 next collapse

It’s not the scientists, it’s a single journalist who is popping out these headlines. Some of those caught attention.

absentbird@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 14:27 next collapse

So like the size of a horse?

The average horse is about half the height and weight of the average giraffe. Giraffes are just a really bad unit of measurement, males weight about 400kg more than females and there is a wide height difference over their global population, they are technically four different species we just all call giraffe 🦒

buttnugget@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 18:02 collapse

I was just going to say, what kind of weird ass size comparison is that. It’s almost as egregious as saying “half the size of two apples”.

Pat_Riot@lemmy.today on 27 Aug 00:03 collapse

The Smurfs were 3 apples tall.

Quibblekrust@thelemmy.club on 26 Aug 17:06 next collapse

I once saw a snake half the size of a garden hose.

territorial@slrpnk.net on 26 Aug 18:59 next collapse

In other words, a large boulder the size of a small boulder

passenger@sopuli.xyz on 26 Aug 20:52 next collapse

Reads Daily Mail clickbait, proceeds to blame “scientists”

kamen@lemmy.world on 26 Aug 21:29 next collapse

The thing that’s bothering me is that they ended a question with a period. Why, random person on the Internet, why?

rikudou@lemmings.world on 26 Aug 23:50 collapse

Indeed, why would they do that.

humorlessrepost@lemmy.world on 27 Aug 00:24 collapse

I don’t know?

SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org on 27 Aug 04:25 collapse

Puzzling.

Pulptastic@midwest.social on 27 Aug 00:34 next collapse

Bilaterally as is the way.

sem@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 28 Aug 00:30 collapse

Probably along the primary axis

muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works on 27 Aug 01:28 next collapse

Solomon’s giraffe…

supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz on 27 Aug 04:40 collapse

Easy. Just imagine only the spots part.