Dyson Has Killed Its Bizarre Zone Air-Purifying Headphones (www.wired.com)
from darkspider@lemmy.blahaj.zone to technology@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 12:19
https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27435604

#technology

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veeesix@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 12:35 next collapse

I’m pretty sure Dyson killed these themselves the moment they turned these from concept to product.

dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 13 Jun 13:08 collapse

That and Dyson might just be preemptively killing it in the wake of the FTC forcing Razer to refund buyers of its smart mask

residentmarchant@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 13:48 collapse

Almost 7 thousand people bought one?! That’s crazy, it was a meme product!

procrastitron@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 14:17 next collapse

It wasn’t being marketed and sold as a meme product. It was being marketed and sold as critical safety equipment.

On top of that, it was being sold during a pandemic when such equipment was being used continuously by large segments of the population.

It shouldn’t be surprising that large numbers of people bought it; the company selling it lied to those people to trick them into buying it.

steal_your_face@lemmy.ml on 13 Jun 16:39 collapse

7000 is barely anything

brsrklf@jlai.lu on 13 Jun 12:45 next collapse

high-tech gimp mask

Okay, I wasn’t sure how to describe this… This is perfect.

HowAbt2day@futurology.today on 13 Jun 12:46 next collapse

I just hope they continue working on the air filtering butt plug because my friends and family are having a tough time being around me after dinner.

YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 14:53 next collapse

If only there was a way to reuse vape pens for something useful/funny

moody@lemmings.world on 13 Jun 15:54 collapse

Fill them with farts and then pass them around to friends.

YesButActuallyMaybe@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 18:14 next collapse

Just imagine blasting monstrous cloud farts that smell like strawberries with a hint of shitting in the woods

HowAbt2day@futurology.today on 13 Jun 21:06 collapse

My regular run of the mill butt plug drives the dogs nuts every time I rip a mean one.

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works on 13 Jun 17:54 next collapse

Wealthy Republicans have them working on a filtered and thermocontrolled chastity belt as top priority.

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 22:12 collapse

Try this invention from 1977!

(I love an excuse to bring up my favorite thing out of the US Patent database.)

anytimesoon@feddit.uk on 14 Jun 18:32 next collapse

Do you know if they ever ended up making any of these? I’m struggling to really understand “non-adhesive adherence” as well as other parts of that abstract

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world on 15 Jun 01:32 collapse

I have been chuckling like a dork at this particular patent since such things first became searchable online, and have never found any evidence of it being manufactured and marketed at all.

The “non-adhesive adherence” is illustrated in the diagrams on the patent which you can see at the link. The inventor proposes “a facing of fluffy fibrous material” to provide the filtration and the adherence; basically this thing is the softer side of a velcro strip, bent in half with the fluff facing outward so it sticks to the inside of your buttcrack to hold itself in place in front of your anus and filter your farts through it.

e8d79@discuss.tchncs.de on 14 Jun 22:11 collapse

Looking though the related patents, fart filters certainly seem to be a hot topic among inventors.
Here is a patent for a literal butt-plug fart filter.
This one is from last year.

Fingolfinz@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 12:48 next collapse

How much coke were they on when they came up with those?

grte@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 13:09 collapse

Just slightly less than when they came up with a fan that doesn’t buffet you with air as though that’s not what you want from a fan.

edit: For the low low price of…C$500??!

moody@lemmings.world on 13 Jun 15:56 collapse

I hate the fan buffeting noise, and would be happy to have a fan that doesn’t do that. Not $500 happy, mind you.

cygnus@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 12:53 next collapse

Ironically their timing was almost spot-on for COVID… I could see these being somewhat useful for air travel, for example.

deur@feddit.nl on 13 Jun 13:25 next collapse

That… was the gimmick…

cygnus@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 14:36 collapse

It would be easier to just let us all know you didn’t read the article.

At the time [product launch in 2022] he was bullish about the Zone’s chances: “After six years in development, we’re excited to deliver pure air and pure audio, anywhere.”

orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 13 Jun 13:31 collapse

Uh… That’s why they made them.

MHLoppy@fedia.io on 13 Jun 13:00 next collapse

That video of them interviewing people on the street with it was pretty fun!

RedditIsDeddit@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 13:13 next collapse

who cares

OmegaLemmy@discuss.online on 13 Jun 13:18 next collapse

Their headphones are unironically the best in the market so if those headphones stay I’m Gucci

RedEyeFlightControl@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 13:54 next collapse

Those were dead before they were released.

floofloof@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 15:32 collapse

Dyson was dead to me when James Dyson campaigned for Brexit on the grounds that it would be better for British jobs, and then, once Brexit was done, moved his whole operation out of the UK to Singapore. After which he whined to the media about how people were being hard on him, calling him things like “hypocrite”, “traitor” or “weasly greedy little Farage-fellating wanker the country would be better off without.”

EU referendum: Sir James Dyson says Britain better off out

Leave campaign’s tweet about Dyson staying in the UK has aged terribly

Brexit backer Dyson says hypocrisy claim over HQ move abroad ‘incredibly harmful’

ultranaut@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 16:40 collapse

I missed that Dyson had sued people for calling him out on his hypocrisy. What a complete piece of shit that guy is.

bieren@lemmy.zip on 13 Jun 14:02 next collapse

Well, great. Now what will I wear to look like a total idiot in public.

Krudler@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 14:12 next collapse

“I’ll be completely honest, quite often we work in an obsessive nature," says Jake. "We want this product. We want to make this thing. Sometimes before actually evaluating what the market response might be. And the market didn’t exist. So you’ve got to take those risks.”

So they did 0 market study, decided to build a gas station on the peak of a mountain and now marvel how nobody came.

Moron.

terminhell@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 13 Jun 15:39 collapse

Ya. But also it’s nice seeing someone doing stuff just for the ‘fun’ of it.

I own zero Dyson products (way too overpriced to me), but I can respect the engineering behind their stuff (mostly).

Krudler@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 16:26 collapse

As a person that does electronic repair, let me just tell you what pieces of shit dysons are from a design standpoint.

They are the most over engineered, Fancy pants pieces of shit that are designed to sell, not to use.

Let me give you an example… One of the most popular posts on the Dyson YouTube page, is how to get the hose out of the machine. Yes that’s right, they needed a fucking video tutorial for one of the most common complaints, people can’t even use the goddamn things!

And then when you want to repair them, you are looking at 2 hours of meticulously dismanting a giant block of unnecessarily complicated Lego to access one tiny piece.

Dysons are absolute pieces of shit from every measurable perspective. With the exception of one thing: the motors do provide good suction, but they’re nothing special, no more suction than any standard motor. They overhyped the electronic switching of the DC motor to the point that people actually believed it! It’s a fucking standard DC motor!!! Essentialy. A vacuum is not the correct application for this kind of technology.

Compare a Dyson’s engineering with a simple device like a Bissell or a shark, which you can completely dismantle and reassemble in like 10 minutes.

You can’t even replace a tiny hose piece on a Dyson without 2 hours, and many specialized tools.

Edit: to underscore what gigantic pieces of shit they are, I actually, through my electronics repair, got a $700 Dyson for free… Original owner effectively discarded it because it was plugged with a sock in the tube. Anyways, after I fixed it, I tried to use it in my apartment. I sold it. Fucking piece of unusable shite. As a person that does a ton of electronics repair and appliance repair and refurbishing, you start to develop a sense in your mind about what’s going through the designer’s head. And when I work on dysons, all I think about is how some jackass who knows AutoCAD, was given free rein to do what he wants, and you ended up with these spaceship looking lumps of garbage that nobody can use.

Edit 2: oh my God I can’t believe I forgot about the fish hook connectors! On the power head of every upright Dyson that I’ve recently serviced… They are designed with hooks at the back that fucking catch on everything! A perfect example what I’m saying, some jack off who just learned AutoCAD, thinking he’s a designer. Nobody puts backward-facing hook “styling” on a vacuum power head - except Dyson! They absolutely suck and I can go on and on but I’m going to stop now.

Edit 3: I can’t stop. I forgot that my sister has run a local cleaning company for 20 years. She has rich-ass customers and she’s been given Dysons by people with way too much money, which she immediately sold without opening the box. And she is absolutely NOT the only one… I can say this with surety as I often sell/fix for small cleaning companies. Professional cleaners -refuse- to use Dyson vacuums.

terminhell@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 13 Jun 17:00 collapse

Well, I’m not surprised sadly.

Krudler@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 17:09 collapse

I’m not trying to have a big hate on for Dyson but

They patented a new DC switching motor

It had the potential to revolutionize so many industries

Instead of licensing the tech out … They decided to make vacuums and hand dryers

The company is run by imbeciles

latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 13 Jun 14:14 next collapse

For a second, my brain pictured these combined with the only dynamics it knows from Dyson - the air blade thingies. It had a good chuckle picturing me getting a vigorous jet of air right in my schnozz.

Edit: may make for a pretty good decongestant, just, uuh… pray you like the taste of mucus…

Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de on 13 Jun 15:32 next collapse

Wait, those weren’t made as a prop for Brazil 2?

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works on 13 Jun 17:51 collapse

Is this 100% joke or is there really a Brazil 2 underway? I feel like the world needs a mirror held up to it in the form of a Brazil 2 more than ever.

Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de on 13 Jun 18:33 collapse

It was a joke. I feel like we’re all living Brazil 2.

Albbi@lemmy.ca on 13 Jun 15:59 next collapse

With all the wildfire smoke in the air, I’m actually sorta interested in these now. I wonder if you can get em cheap.

Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works on 13 Jun 17:50 next collapse

Would guess this announcement will only boost interest esp from collectors

prembil@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 13 Jun 18:52 collapse

I would strongly recommend you watch some reviews first. It does not seal around the mouth and nose. It is just a fan that makes a constant stream of air to your face, drying inside of your nose, making you more vulnerable to airborne viruses, which would also help the ash go deeper into your lungs.

TomMasz@piefed.social on 13 Jun 17:47 next collapse

Dyson has inhaled too much ozone from electric motors.

JimVanDeventer@lemmy.world on 13 Jun 21:36 collapse

Do companies release these nonsensical products as justification to squat on patents?

vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works on 14 Jun 20:32 collapse

That and sometimes R&D are given funds to fuck around with, worst case scenario nothing comes of it best case they make a massive return on investment. Sometimes you need to throw together a prototype to see if anything out of it is useful, sure the device as a whole may be pointless but maybe someone stumbled upon a useful quick release concept.