So it sounds like they did have plans, or at least ideas, for it but are now backtracking after the 100% deserved backlash.

No plans now.

Let’s just float the idea again in a few years and see how much backlash it then produces…

NOW they don’t because word got out too soon

“Ahahaha. I was kidding. …unless…?”

This is no less, than a gaslighting tactic

Fruit of the Loom has no plans for a subscription underpants.

This is like the lover who says “wouldn’t it be crazy if you and me had a threesome with your best friend”? Then claims not to be serious when the idea is rejected.

Sort of like how excited Wendy’s was to offer surge pricing, until 2 days later when they suddenly had “no plans to ever implement surge pricing, what’re yall talkin’ 'bout?”

Imagine it’s like your Rolex. You’re going to really love that.

The fact he said this, makes you want to punch his smug face.

But what about an AI mouse?

Netflix has plans to have a subscription movie service!

I highly recommend the Decoder podcast from The Verge. The host Nilay Patel interviews the Logitech CEO Hanneke Faber and this comes up. He comes at the question earnestly but can’t understand how she tries to justify this. It’s a pretty fun listen. Link: theverge.com/…/logitech-ceo-hanneke-faber-mouse-k…

The transcript is there too if you just want to read it. Here’s some of the relavent bits.

What made the mouse a forever mouse?

It was a little heavier, it had great software and services that you’d constantly update, and it was beautiful. So I don’t think we’re necessarily super far away from that.

But, again, I just come back to the cost. You sell me the mouse once. Maybe I’ll pay 200 bucks for it.

The business model obviously is the challenge there. So then software is even more important when you think about it. Can you come up with a service model? In our video conferencing business, that is now a very important part of the model, the services, and it’s critical for corporate customers.

Let’s come to that in a second because that makes sense to me. You sell managed services to enterprises. You price support contracts for cameras and whatever. That’s an ongoing need businesses have. I’m still stuck on, “You’re going to sell me a mouse once and it’s going to have ongoing software updates forever.”

Imagine it’s like your Rolex. You’re going to really love that.

But Rolex has to employ software engineers to ship me over-the-air updates forever.

But the artifact is like your Rolex, and then given that we know the technology that we attach to changes, it’s not going to be like your Rolex in that it doesn’t have to ever change. Our stuff will have to change, but does the hardware have to change? I’m not so sure. We’ll have to obviously fix it and figure out what that business model is. We’re not at the forever mouse today, but I’m intrigued by the thought.>

…

I’m going to ask this very directly. Can you envision a subscription mouse?

Possibly.

And that would be the forever mouse?

Yeah.

So you pay a subscription for software updates to your mouse.

Yeah, and you never have to worry about it again, which is not unlike our video conferencing services today.

But it’s a mouse.

But it’s a mouse, yeah.

I think consumers might perceive those to be very different.

[Laughs] Yes, but it’s gorgeous. Think about it like a diamond-encrusted mouse.

Anymore

Logi CEO: “Heh, yeah, well you know, there is a rich tradition of tech companies pranking the public with silly, unexpected practical jokes on April 1.”

“But sir, it’s August.”

“Oh, well I guess that’s what makes it so unexpected, heh. Yeah. Unless you want a mouse subscription? No? Oh, just forget that I asked - that was, ah, part of the joke. Apr- August Fools!”

Absolutely fucking not

I would love to see more movement on an open source mouse. I know there are some options out there but it seems like nothing has really stuck.

With 3d printing and the RP2040, these should be more abundant.

I’m sure it probably comes down to the sensors available, but I’d love for someone like Adafruit to offer options.

Logitech, buy one of the three tiers based on your needs. 10 clicks a day, 15 clicks a day, or unlimited daily click.

Disclaimer: right click or scroll wheel not included, please purchase add-on package

But won’t rule it out.

They already can’t make a fucking mouse that won’t suffer from double clicks within a few years. They have a model, albeit a shitty one, that has people repeatedly buying their products. I will never buy another Logitech product if they even make a “luxury” mouse for the wealthy that has subs, even if they keep a free option. It’s not for me, but the existence of such product is a deal breaker in itself.

Yeah they don’t have any plans now. After getting shouted at by everyone.

This is just a symptom of the corporate insanity that believes that every year you must make more money than the previous year and simply making a large amount of money isn’t acceptable unless it’s going upwards.

It’s Logitech, they make keyboards and mice they’re not high value items. There’s no innovating that needs to happen here. I’m sure companies that manufacture staples, drawing pins, and paper clips could give them some pointers in calming down and just existing.

But they’ll implement a one time fee to change your dpi, and then a few years after that it’ll be subscription.

Damage control.

They do have great products, they just need to learn, like basically all corpos, to just shut up.

Ah yes, the ol’ “joking about a threesome” trick.

“What?! Oh, no I mean… I was just joking, honey. I’d never do that… I mean unless…”

CEO: says stupid shit

Corporate Comms: sigh CLEANUP ON AISLE 3

Up next: mouse cartridges.

I mean everyone knows that the answer to whether they’d live to do this is “yes”, but you don’t have to guess. They pretty much say ‘yes we’re planning it’ in PR doublespeak:

Logitech’s stance is “the mouse mentioned is not an actual or planned product but a peek into provocative internal thinking on future possibilities for more sustainable consumer electronics.”

So… They’re not planning to make it but they’re investigating the market possibility of selling it? Golly PRtalk is rough.

Luckily the CEO comes in hot again for us. Besides comparing the Morse to a Rolex he has this to say:

I’m going to ask this very directly. Can you envision a subscription mouse?

Possibly.

And that would be the forever mouse?

Yeah.

So you pay a subscription for software updates to your mouse.

Yeah, and you never have to worry about it again, which is not unlike our video conferencing services today.

But it’s a mouse.

But it’s a mouse, yeah.

I think consumers might perceive those to be very different.

[Laughs] Yes, but it’s gorgeous. Think about it like a diamond-encrusted mouse.

Diamond crusted to who?

Yeah… Now that everyone found out about the idea and said “fuck Logitech.” lol

If there was no reaction or a positive reaction to it they would definitely be planning on releasing one.

one of our team members showed me a forever mouse with the comparison to a watch. This is a nice watch, not a super expensive watch, but I’m not planning to throw that watch away ever.

Then, almost immediately starts talking about Rolex watches as if they are not expensive. This woman is very out of touch with reality like all CEOs.

What they want to sell:

A mouse with the quality of the mice 20 years ago. And you need to subscribe to software updates. However the subscription is not optional. If you don’t pay monthly you can’t use the mouse.

What I would actually pay for:

A high quality mouse with an open interface and maybe open source software for it. So I can maintain the software by myself. Usually you can achieve a high quality standard in a few months, and unless there are some driver issues, it should work forever.

I have a “gamer mouse” with a lot of features, custom dpi settings, custom color settings, rebinding keys and so on.

However I used the software once to set it up and on Linux I can’t even change it. I will never receive any updates!

Good because the entire idea is completely idiotic.

“her”.

And there you have it.

That something so ridiculous is within the realm of possibility just shows how absurd the subscription landscape has gotten. It’s sad that they even have to clarify this.

“no plans” We’re just awfully close and intend to make plans. Fucking hate when CEOs talk, can’t believe anything at face value. Lying sacks of shit.

I mean, they 100% do have tangible plans. And I’m 110% sure that active portions of those plans already underway as well.

I think what they mean to say is, "the subscription mouse isn’t available today… I mean, unless you like, unless you wanted it to be or whatever? uWu…"

“No, just kidding”

As shoddy as the QC has been lately, I’m sure they have their consumer base to worry about. I bought a gray lift ergo mouse. Left click stopped working properly after about 3 weeks. Bought a cheaper, legit 3-button with a wheel also. Adjustable, rechargeable cordless. Works wonderfully after a month.

i have a logitech mouse from the 90s that plugs in and still works why do i need a subscription?

how about linux software

The problem is that companies talk to two sets of people and they both want to hear different things.

Users, who want to hear that they’re making a new mouse that costs $5 and lasts forever and gives you a blowjob, and shareholders, who want a $50 a month subscription mouse that harvests the users organs while they’re at it.

And it’s the CEO’s job to keep both of those people just unhappy enough to stick around.

How about an AI mouse. It would learn if you’re lefty or righty and it would tell glove manufacturers. It would read your pulse during stressful situations to find patterns and let other companies know when to best sell you shit. Yeah lots of benefits!