Scientologists Tell Feds They Don't Want Randos Repairing Their E-Meters (gizmodo.com)
from FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to technology@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 20:19
https://lemmy.world/post/4218436

#technology

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bernieecclestoned@sh.itjust.works on 31 Aug 2023 20:20 next collapse

Not the onion

hi_its_me@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 20:40 next collapse

Out of curiosity, has there ever been a teardown of one of these to see what kind of snake oil actually powers them?

Etienne_Dahu@jlai.lu on 31 Aug 2023 20:45 next collapse

I say 2 AA batteries

Bizarroland@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 22:04 collapse

Given the era, I would suspect more like a single 9 volt battery.

turkalino@lemmy.yachts on 31 Aug 2023 20:52 next collapse

I imagine whoever tries gets sued into oblivion faster than John Deere with a farmer fixing his tractor

GloriaTheFox@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 31 Aug 2023 21:00 next collapse

The first version was actually patented, so we know how that one worked fully. The latest versions are secretive but they still likely measure the same thing.

www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/…/hubbard-patent.html

WarmSoda@lemm.ee on 31 Aug 2023 21:02 next collapse

Can anyone translate this into Dummy please? What is it doing, according to that patent?

ElleChaise@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 21:12 next collapse

It's like a voltmeter set to resistance mode. It can detect small changes in electrical energy and show that change on a meter that moves right for higher resistance, and left for lower resistance. In other words, it's a bunch o' bull crap.

WarmSoda@lemm.ee on 31 Aug 2023 21:15 next collapse

So it’s a lie detector? Lol

quicksand@lemm.ee on 31 Aug 2023 21:20 next collapse

I think it’s just a human detector. Or an anything that touches both contacts detector

RanchOnPancakes@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 21:23 collapse

Yes. And just as meaningful as one. (aka not)

[deleted] on 31 Aug 2023 21:41 collapse

.

Bizarroland@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 22:10 collapse

Taking it as an abstract, I could see how that would be an incredible tool for building a cohesive unit of people.

I've read the Dianetics book because when I was a kid I would see the ads and I was like oh that's interesting and then I found a copy out of thrift store.

Dianetics offers you you know your maximum human mental potential and freedom from all of your psychosomatic and psychological illnesses. No anxiety, no schizophrenia, no bipolar disorder, no lying to yourself about anything.

And on the surface that seems good but you know obviously if it were actually capable of unlocking human potential it would now be standard course in American education.

But you put all of that aside and think about it from a different angle, and what you have is a machine that measures anxiety and a person you're telling all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears to, and you repeat the Dianetics process until you have told every single thing that you can think of about your entire life to another person.

And at that point, you're no longer anxious around that person, so the e-meter says that you have reached "clear".

Now you're surrounded with people who know all of your deepest darkest secrets and fears and completely and totally accept you as long as you adhere to their society's rules.

It's very fascinating, I couldn't imagine a better way to build a cult than with a system like that.

PM_Your_Nudes_Please@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 21:22 collapse

It’s measuring resistance, just like a multimeter can. Basically, it’s measuring how “difficult” it is for electricity to reach from A to B. High quality wire will have low resistance, while something like rubber has a very high resistance. This is basically just measuring resistance and moving a needle back and forth on a meter. It’s an Electrical Engineering 101 class project.

cheese_greater@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 21:41 next collapse

Isn’t there a name for bullshit devices that produce some ouput that has no bearing on what is being tested? Like that device Dee and Charlie use when they are in the superberry MLM on Sunny in Philadelphia. Like, its snake oil but I thought there was a word for that kind of thing.

jscummy@sh.itjust.works on 31 Aug 2023 22:46 next collapse

What do you mean? That machine measured stress very accurately and displayed it in standard stress units

cheese_greater@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 22:49 collapse

My biggest issue was the lack of clarity over where one should place their feet. Kinda important

OneCardboardBox@lemmy.sdf.org on 31 Aug 2023 23:58 collapse

I don’t know about one word, but generally I’ve heard “quack medical device” used to describe such things.

cheese_greater@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 00:08 collapse

Like a polygraph I guess but slightly seedier

johnthedoe@lemmy.ml on 31 Aug 2023 21:45 collapse

What makes certain people have different measurements? I assume that’s what they’re after in the cult to determine who goes where

comrade19@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 21:57 collapse

Our skin layer is about the worst conductor of our bodies but if you have wet salty skin you’ll show a higher reading. Maybe that’s all the data they need. Maybe they’re onto something

CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 22:01 collapse

This goes a step further though.

Because they are questioning you while “on the cans”, your skin’s electrical conductivity will change naturally even if being completely honest. These momentary blips will cause the person conducting the interview to ask you more personal, more intimate questions, with the goal of you over sharing.

Basically they use the flawed technology that is the lie detector and based an entire religion around it.

Honestly not a bad idea, if I’m being completely honest and devoid of human empathy.

Bizarroland@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 22:05 next collapse

Although you do realize that technically, if their new versions are not patented then they are considered trade secrets right? If you can get your hands on one and patent it then you have a decent pathway to sue the Church of Scientology for patent infringement.

That would be a fun one to work out

douglasg14b@lemmy.world on 31 Aug 2023 22:28 next collapse

Sure, and then they either disappear you, or you have an “accident”. Or you just so happened to get beaten half to death in the restroom by a “random” act of violence.

Or anything equally as sinister, but to your finances, possessions, loved ones, or life.

Bizarroland@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 22:32 collapse

Scientology is not some super powerful cult with secret enforcers all over the place. They might have that much power in Clearwater Florida but outside of that what are they going to do?

If they had the ability to act like a mafia the way that you're suggesting then they wouldn't be able to walk and operate freely in America without somebody from a three-letter organization breathing down their neck.

JungleJim@sh.itjust.works on 31 Aug 2023 22:55 collapse

Actually this one time they infiltrated a three letter agency.

Natanael@slrpnk.net on 01 Sep 2023 00:05 collapse

They could get your patent invalidated if they can demonstrate you copied them

Rayston@kbin.social on 01 Sep 2023 00:36 next collapse

wouldnt that force them to admit the public patent and all its details are a copy? thus confirming exactly how the device works.....and isnt that something they dont want?

starman2112@sh.itjust.works on 01 Sep 2023 01:18 next collapse

I like that fundamental misunderstandings of how the law works can still be found on this website, was my favorite part of reddit

Bizarroland@kbin.social on 01 Sep 2023 02:46 collapse

They would still have to pay an inordinate amount of money in legal fees fighting it, and if they invalidate the patent then the publication would go public domain.

AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space on 31 Aug 2023 22:16 next collapse

Or given that the device’s purpose is to be a prop for psychological manipulation, the current ones might, rather than simply reading out skin resistance, produce some other value more conducive to that purpose. I’m which case, dumping and disassembling the firmware would be as much a threat to Scientology as dumping slot machine firmware would be to casinos and gambling firms. (True story: someone once did this with a slot machine, proving that it was rigged.)

TheRaven@lemmy.ca on 01 Sep 2023 01:17 collapse

Midichlorians?

Cabrio@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 01:38 collapse

Prion disease.

Madison420@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 01:47 collapse

The scions of prions? Lucky pions!

Hey Shakespeare did it, so it can’t be wrong.

carl_dungeon@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 01:06 collapse

Yes. Guy on Reddit a few years ago stole one out of a tent where they were giving free readings and did a full tear down. It’s a cheap Chinese ohm meter with a few extra circuits added for fancy dials and lights. It’s basically a movie prop.

Edit: of course it was part of the purge: reddit.com/…/detailed_teardown_of_a_scientology_e…

YeetPics@mander.xyz on 31 Aug 2023 20:41 next collapse

Zenu forbid everyone finds out their off-the-shelf multimeter from the 70s is just as special and important as their beliefs (not at all).

TubeTalkerX@kbin.social on 31 Aug 2023 21:31 next collapse

Where do my feet go?

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uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 31 Aug 2023 23:34 next collapse

Someone should invent an e-meter that’s ten times as accurate.

ETA: That might just be a biofeedback device.

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 11:32 collapse

It’s hard to define concepts like “accuracy” when the basic claim is that the gadget can count the evil dead alien ghosts living in your head to hassle you.

uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone on 01 Sep 2023 22:29 collapse

It measures skin resistance and then has special metrics regarding Thetans or clarity.

So one could make one that is even more sensitive, that allows you to practice altering your skin resistance with mind thoughts (roaring ocean waves and salty sea air! Seagulls and warm sun! Sand squishing between your toes!), thereby potentially improving your clarity, or at least improving the measured metrics.

I’m not a Scientologist, but according to some biofeedback enthusiast friends, ASMR might help them game their readings better.

some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org on 01 Sep 2023 00:36 next collapse

I might have a solution, just hear me out… what if they just folded their phony religion and left everyone alone? See? Everyone wins!

Cabrio@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 01:49 collapse

Fuck scientology, but honestly, props to Ron. It takes a significant amount of rizz and a good lack of fucks to go from being quoted on how lucrative it would be to start a religion while he was a well known science fiction author, only to make a religion and gain untold wealth.

I mean it’s one thing to grift an idiot, but when you tell them to their face that you’re going to grift them who’s fault is it really?

BakedGoods@sh.itjust.works on 01 Sep 2023 11:04 collapse

Problem is when you start grifting kids. They can’t exactly consent. Same issue with any religion/grift really. If it’s aimed at a child it’s abuse.

callmemagnus@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 07:05 next collapse

When Scientology is your ally… You’re on the bad track

Treczoks@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 10:27 collapse

“Repairing” as in “noticing they don’t actually do anything beside measuring resistance like any common multimeter from the DIY shop”

dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com on 01 Sep 2023 10:34 collapse

Do they even measure resistance? Hold the probes on a multimeter. Tell me how much resistance you’re measuring. With my MM I’m registering microohms.

rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 11:30 next collapse

That just goes to show how important proper training is. Without the right scientology certifications you have no idea how many evil alien ghosts living in your soul those microohms indicate!

Kolanaki@yiffit.net on 01 Sep 2023 11:36 next collapse

When I first read about this stuff, it said they were just really sensitive EKG machines. Literally just measuring your pulse.

XeroxCool@lemmy.world on 01 Sep 2023 14:44 collapse

… Do you mean you’re measuring megaohms (M) across your body? Or microohms (u) between probes directly? Or milliohms (m)?

I’ve wet my finger and measured like 30kOhms across a half inch of skin or so. And if you get into your bloodstream, the salty liquid has very low resistance BUT BUT BUT this will kill you if the probe paths across your heart